Pie Chart

Band 6+: the pie chart below shows the information about the countries of origin of students in 2 schools.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing country origins of students in two schools. In Law School: Japan 12%, Germany 23%, India 28%, Finland 17%, Denmark 20%. In Finance School: Sweden 11%, Nigeria 32%, India 26%, China 13%, Finland 18%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented pie charts provide data about international students who came from various countries. The statistics also include percentage of students in 2 different schools.

Overall, in law school mostly has been gathered Indian students, while in finance it is students from Nigeria. It can be seen that some of nations such as India and Finland have learners in each major.

There are countries whose students can be seen in both categories. India demonstrates incredible 28% of learners in law major, but also there is 26% of students in finance school from this country. It is not only happened with Indian learners, but also with Finland students who show almost identical rate both in law and finance schools, 17% and 18%, respectively.

Regarding nations specific for each major, in law school after India the most popular international students are from Germany approximately 23%. Followed by Denmark and Japan learners about 20% and 12%, correspondingly. Notably, Nigeria has the highest volume of students in finance school, 32% as well as there is significant percentage of international learners from China and Sweden around 13% and 11%.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 9

learners: 5

school: 4

finance: 4

international: 3

india: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts. The overview is clear, and the main features are identified. However, there's room for improvement in terms of providing more specific comparisons and details. To enhance the response, consider incorporating more precise data comparisons and ensuring that all significant data points are addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overall statement are present, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using 'similarly' or 'in contrast' can help to clarify the relationships between the data points. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to group related information more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the data. However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, instead of 'mostly has been gathered Indian students,' consider 'the majority of students are from India'. Continue to expand your vocabulary related to data description and comparison to enhance the impact of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('mostly has been gathered') and incorrect preposition usage are present. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct these errors. Also, pay attention to sentence structure to ensure that your writing is clear and concise.

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