Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a comparison of the average household expenditures by major category between Japan and Malaysia, represented by pie charts. In Japan, 29% of expenditures are on housing, 24% on food, 21% on transport, 6% on healthcare, and 20% on other goods and services. In Malaysia, the percentages are 26% on housing, 27% on food, 34% on transport, 3% on healthcare, and 10% on other goods and services.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie graphs presents the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

Overall, in both countries, major proportions of household expenditures are taken by housing and food categories. Besides these two sectors, Japan seems to have higher percentages for expenses like transport, healthcare, and other goods and services than Malaysia.

The housing and food category has the biggest influence on the average household expenditures in both countries, with a total of 46% in Japan and 61% in Malaysia respectively. However, in Malaysia people tend to spend more on housing with the highest proportion of 34%, whereas in Japan they tend to spend more on food with a percentage of 24%.

The three remaining categories in Japan contribute to more than half of their household expenditures, whereas in Malaysia, this contribution is less than 50%. Of these three, expenditures for other goods and services has the most dominance with 29% in Japan and 26% in Malaysia respectively.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

japan: 6

expenditures: 5

malaysia: 5

household: 4

housing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between Japan and Malaysia. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that in Malaysia people tend to spend more on housing with the highest proportion of 34%, whereas in Japan they tend to spend more on food with a percentage of 24%. This is incorrect, as in Malaysia, transport has the highest proportion of 34%, and in Japan, housing has the highest proportion of 29%. Also, the report states that expenditures for other goods and services has the most dominance with 29% in Japan and 26% in Malaysia respectively. This is incorrect, as the percentages are 20% and 10% respectively. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and consistent with the information presented in the pie charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview, followed by more detailed comparisons. The information is presented logically, and the paragraphing is appropriate. However, transitions between some sentences could be smoother to enhance the flow of the report. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating on why Japan has higher percentages in certain categories could improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses appropriate vocabulary to describe the data. Terms like 'major proportions,' 'biggest influence,' and 'dominance' are suitable. However, there's room to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to add more depth and precision to the descriptions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider synonyms like 'proportion' or 'share.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, 'The pie graphs presents' should be 'The pie graphs present.' Also, the phrasing 'in Malaysia people tend to spend more on housing with the highest proportion of 34%, whereas in Japan they tend to spend more on food with a percentage of 24%' could be restructured for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. Reviewing and correcting these errors would improve the overall quality of the report.

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