Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in a European country in two different years.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in a European country in two different years.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing devices used by 18- to 25-year-olds to watch television across the years 2007 and 2017. For 2007, the data points are: Conventional TV 34%, Flat-screen TV 20%, Desktop computer 18%, Laptop 15%, Mobile phone 8%, and Tablet 5%. In 2017, the breakdown is: Mobile phone 26%, Laptop 19%, Tablet 12%, Desktop computer 4%, Flat-screen TV 27%, and Conventional TV 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart compares six different devices that were used to watch TV by people aged 18 to 25 in Canada in the years 2009 and 2019.

Overall, conventional TV, desktop computer, laptop were the most common devices in 2009, with conventional TV presenting the most pronounced portion. In comparison, flat-screen TV and mobile phones became more preferred choices in 2019.

Turning to the details, conventional TV stood out as the main device of television. To be specific, 34% of people used it to watch television which was more than the combined percentages of three other devices (8% of flat-screen TV, 5% of tablet, and 15% of mobile phones). However, desktop computer and laptop had relatively comparable figures, making up 18% and 20%, respectively.

In 2019, the figure for conventional TV accounted for only 4% which was 30% less compared to the previous decade. Similarly, 8% and 6% fewer people preferred to watch television on the laptop and the desktop computer while the figure for tablet made up 19 percent which was only 5 percent a decade ago. By 2019, the mobile phones and the flat-screen TV accounted for the comparable proportions of 26% and 27%.

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

conventional: 4

devices: 3

watch: 3

people: 3

desktop: 3

computer: 3

laptop: 3

flat-screen: 3

mobile: 3

television: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies regarding the data and years presented in the pie charts. The analysis includes some relevant information but also presents some inaccurate details, which detracts from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data and years mentioned in the report accurately reflect the information provided in the pie charts. Also, avoid mentioning information that is not present in the charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, with a clear overall structure. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. The introduction provides a basic overview, and the body paragraphs attempt to detail the data. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. For instance, the shift from the overview to the details in each paragraph could be more clearly signposted. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data to avoid repetition and improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, some phrases are a bit basic. Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends and data. For example, instead of 'the most common devices,' consider using phrases like 'the predominant means' or 'the most frequently utilized devices.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Sentence structures are generally simple, and while this aids in avoiding complex errors, it also limits the expression of more nuanced relationships between data points. Focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence types, including complex sentences, to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of your report.

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