Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie charts below show the proportion of job postings for Software Engineers, Sales Associates and Teachers in 1995 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts below show the proportion of job postings for Software Engineers, Sales Associates and Teachers in 1995 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image showcases two pie charts comparing data from 1995 and 2020. In 1995, the chart features the numerical values: Software Engineers (15), Sales Associates (40), and Teachers (45). The 2020 chart displays: Software Engineers (30), Sales Associates (40), and Teachers (30).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of job advertisements for professionals like software engineers, sales associates and teacher in the year 1995 and 2020.

In 1995, job advertisements were dominated by sales associates and teachers with a share of 40% and 45% respectively while software engineers only had a small share of 15% of job postings. This thus shows the lack in demand for software engineers due to inadvancements of technology in the pasts with traditional jobs being more in demand.

On the other hand, in the year 2020, the job postings for software engineers have skyrocketed to 40%, proving modernization and technological advancements throughout the years. Contrastly, job postings for both sales associates and teachers had dropped to the same state of 30% proving the reduced demand for traditional employees by human resources.

In conclusion, the pie chart demonstrates how modernization and technological advancements allows a shift in the demand of employees over a period of 25 years.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

software: 4

engineers: 4

sales: 3

associates: 3

postings: 3

demand: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons between 1995 and 2020. The data is generally well-represented, and the trends are identified. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and avoid overly speculative explanations. For instance, instead of stating 'skyrocketed to 40%', mention the specific increase from 15% to 30% for software engineers. Also, ensure that the conclusion directly reflects the data presented without introducing new interpretations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the flow could be improved. The ideas are presented, but the connections between them could be clearer. Consider using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison of the two pie charts. For example, in the third paragraph, instead of starting directly with 'On the other hand,' you could add a phrase that explicitly contrasts it with the previous point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'skyrocketed' and 'modernization' are effective, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific terms related to job market trends. For instance, instead of 'lack in demand,' you could use 'lower demand' or 'limited need'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'inadvancements of technology in the pasts' is not grammatically correct. It should be 'lack of advancements in technology in the past'. Also, 'skyrocketed to 40%' is inaccurate according to the visual description. Focus on using correct verb tenses, prepositions, and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to catch and correct these errors.

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