Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie diagrams give information about students choosing various foreign languages in the UK in two years - 2009 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie diagrams give information about students choosing various foreign languages in the UK in two years - 2009 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts representing the percentage of students choosing foreign languages in the UK in 2009 and in 2014. In 2009, French was chosen by 43%, Spanish by 20%, Italian by 9%, German by 16%, and Russian by 12%. In 2014, French decreased to 34%, Spanish increased to 24%, Italian decreased to 8%, German decreased to 10%, and Russian decreased to 4%.

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The given pie chart discusses about students who come to UK for studies who opt for different foreign languages in the year 2009 and 2014. In this i will discuss the information by selecting and reporting the features and will compre the changes for the given years.

In the first pie chart of 2009, majority of the students chose French as their foreign language about 43%, 20% chose Italian, Spanish was chosen by 16% of the crowd and the rest chose German and Russian (12%, 9% respectively).

In the second chart of 2014, majority students still chose French about 34%, Spanish and Italian were chosen equally by the students of about 24% each, 10% of the students chose German and the rest 8% chose Russian.

Overall in the span of 5 years from 2009 to 2014, 9% of students shifted their language from french, Spanish and Italian students were increased by 4, 8% respectively, and German, Russian students decreased by 2, 1% respectively.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 8

chose: 6

about: 4

chart: 3

french: 3

italian: 3

spanish: 3

german: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the percentages for Spanish and Italian in 2009 are reversed. Also, the percentage change for Russian is incorrect. To improve, ensure all data is accurately transcribed and that calculations are correct. Also, the introduction is a bit repetitive and could be more concise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and flow. The introduction is somewhat repetitive, stating the task rather than providing an overview. The body paragraphs present data but lack clear transitions and connections between them. The 'overall' paragraph attempts to summarize but contains inaccuracies and unclear comparisons. To improve coherence, use more effective transition words and phrases, ensure accurate data representation, and focus on making meaningful comparisons between the two years.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Phrases like 'chose French as their foreign language about 43%' and 'the rest chose German and Russian' are repetitive and could be expressed more concisely. Consider using synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to trends and proportions to enhance the report's lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('discusses about'), subject-verb agreement issues ('majority of the students chose'), and inaccurate percentage changes ('German, Russian students decreased by 2, 1% respectively'). These errors affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully.

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