Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie diagrams give information about students choosing various foreign languages in the UK in two years - 2009 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie diagrams give information about students choosing various foreign languages in the UK in two years - 2009 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts representing the percentage of students choosing foreign languages in the UK in 2009 and in 2014. In 2009, French was chosen by 43%, Spanish by 20%, Italian by 9%, German by 16%, and Russian by 12%. In 2014, French decreased to 34%, Spanish increased to 24%, Italian decreased to 8%, German decreased to 10%, and Russian decreased to 4%.

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The given pie diagrams provide information about the students choosing various foreign languages in the UK in the years – 2009 and 2014. In this essay, I will discuss what were the changes in students’ preference for foreign languages in both the years.

Firstly, in the year 2009, about 43% of the students chose French as their foreign language, 20% of the students chose Italian, 16%, 12% and 9% students chose Spanish, German and Russian respectively.

Thereafter, in the year 2014, the number of students choosing French language dropped down to 34%, the number of students for Italian language slightly rose to 24%, students choosing Spanish also went up to 24%, whereas, students choosing German language came down to 10% and students choosing Russian language also lowered to 8%.

Overall, majority of the students in the UK preferred French language in both the years, students’ preference for Italian and Spanish languages went slightly up in the year 2014, meanwhile, students preferring German and Russian languages slightly lowered down.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 11

language: 6

choosing: 5

languages: 4

foreign: 3

chose: 3

french: 3

italian: 3

spanish: 3

german: 3

russian: 3

slightly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., Italian language data in 2009 and 2014, Spanish language data in 2009). To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and consider including more specific comparisons to highlight the most significant changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is adequate, but the body paragraphs could be structured more effectively to group related trends together. For example, discussing the languages that increased in popularity together and those that decreased together would enhance coherence. The overview is acceptable but could be more insightful by highlighting the most significant changes or overall trends. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While the report conveys the information, using more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and changes (e.g., 'plummeted,' 'surged,' 'remained relatively stable') would enhance the quality of the writing. Avoid repetition of phrases like 'number of students choosing' by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and accurate preposition usage. For example, '20% of the students chose Italian' should be '20% of the students chose Spanish'. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Varying sentence structure and using more complex sentences would also improve the grammatical range.

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