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Band 5+: The table below shows information about department stores and online stores Australia in 2011

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The image shows a table comparing department stores and online stores: Number of business - Department stores: 67, Online stores: 368; Profit (AUD dollars) - Department stores: 807, Online stores: 863; Sales revenue (AUD dollars) - Department stores: 12700, Online stores: 13400; The growth - Department stores: 0.4%, Online stores: 0.6%.

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The image reports the number of department stores as well as online shops around Australia in time period of 2011.

overall,compare to both of them online stores has outnumbered department store in each sector in terms of business number,profit,sales and growth.The currency is in Australian dollar.

Department stores has total 67 number of business on the other hand online shops has nearly 5 times more which is 368 in terms of profit in australian dollar online stores is ahead of department stores 863 and 807 respectively.Having the off balance by nearly 50 or 60.

Sales revenue is exactly 12700 of department stores wherease stores the are avaliable in internet has 13400 have the differences of 7 thousand.In last there is growth one having 0.4 percent and other 0.6 percent.one with the least is from department stores while another being online stores.There isnt much gap in them having only 0.2 between them

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stores: 8

department: 5

online: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main points of the table and provides a reasonable overview of the data. However, there are some areas for improvement. The language could be more precise and sophisticated, and the organization could be slightly improved for better clarity. Also, check for grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison. Paragraphing could be more effective in grouping related information together. For example, each paragraph could focus on a specific aspect of the comparison (e.g., number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, growth). Avoid abrupt shifts in topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. For instance, instead of repeatedly using phrases like 'in terms of,' try alternative expressions such as 'regarding,' 'concerning,' or 'with respect to.' Also, avoid informal language. Using more specific vocabulary related to business and economics would enhance the report. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. Sentence structure could also be improved to enhance readability. Proofread carefully to eliminate errors.

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