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Band 7+: The two pie charts below show how an average households in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 to 2015

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The image contains two pie charts detailing Household Energy Use in Australia for 1995 and 2015. In 1995, the distribution of energy use was: Heating 40%, Water Heating 30%, Other Appliances 10%, Lighting 10%, and Refrigeration 10%. In 2015, the distribution was: Heating 30%, Water Heating 25%, Other Appliances 20%, Refrigeration 15%, and Lighting 10%.

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The data illustrates the average Australian households’ energy usage’s proportions in 1995 and 2015.

Overall, heating used the highest proportion of energy in each year. The electricity use for other appliances and refrigeration experienced increase over the years, while water heating’s percentage decreased. The proportion of lightning in both pie charts stayed the same.

In 1995 and 2015, the 40% and the 30% of energy was spent on heating, respectively. Being approximately a third of used energy, heating was the main purpose of energy usage over the years.

The expenditure of energy on additional appliances increased by 2 times (from 10% to 20%). While it was one of the least important purposes of energy usage in 1995, it became the third leader of the pie chart of 2015. In addition to that, the refrigeration’s proportion grew from 10% to 15%. Conversely, the percentage of energy used on water heating fell by 5%, but it still stayed the second important purpose of electricity usage. The lightning’s percentage – 10% – did not experience any changes.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

energy: 8

heating: 4

proportion: 3

percentage: 3

usage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes and compares the energy usage in Australian households between 1995 and 2015. The overview is clear, and the key trends are identified. The report includes relevant data and makes appropriate comparisons. To improve, consider using more precise language when describing changes and avoid minor inaccuracies (e.g., 'lightning' should be 'lighting').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and specific details. However, the transition between some sentences could be smoother. For instance, in the third paragraph, the connection between the general statement about heating and the specific percentages could be more explicit. Consider using transition words or phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. However, there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion' or 'percentage,' try incorporating synonyms like 'share,' 'ratio,' or 'segment.' Also, consider using more precise language to describe the changes, such as 'increased significantly' or 'decreased slightly.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. For example, 'lightning's percentage' should be 'lighting's percentage'. Also, ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the report. While the errors do not significantly impede understanding, addressing them will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.

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