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Band 5+: the two pie charts below show some employment pattern in Great Britan in 1992.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing employment patterns for females and males in Great Britain in 1992. For females: manual jobs include craft or similar at 3%, general labourers at 1%, other manual at 27%, while non-manual jobs consist of managerial and professional at 29%, clerical or related at 31%, and other non-manual at 9%. For males: manual jobs include craft or similar at 24%, general labourers at 2%, other manual at 31%, whereas non-manual jobs involve managerial and professional at 36%, clerical or related at 6%, and other non-manual at 2%.

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The pie charts compares some of the employment patterns in Britan which is categorised as manual and non-manual on the basis of male and female in 1992. The units are expressed in percentage

Overall, in female clerical or related jobs, managerial and professional as well as other manual works was dominant whereas in male, craft or similar , managerial and professional and other manual jobs shared largest proportion. General labours was the least popular job in both male and female and other non-manual and clerical job show a similiar trajectory in males.

In females, non-manual works like clerical and related jobs outraced other jobs with 31%, followed by managerial and professional and other manual ,that shared 29% and 27% respectively. However ,other non-manual jobs , craft or similiar and general labours accounts for least percentage , in which general labours hitting a lowest proportion about 1% and 3% for craft or similiar employments.

On the other hand, 36% was there for managerial and professional jobs , which shared largest percentage amoung other jobs . Other manual and craft or similiar recorded ,26% and 24% approximately.Conversely, clerical and other non-manual was only about 6% both in a steady tend and same as like in female, general labours recorded at a mere 2%.

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

other: 10

manual: 5

non-manual: 5

female: 4

clerical: 4

managerial: 4

professional: 4

craft: 4

general: 4

labours: 4

similiar: 4

which: 3

shared: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task well, providing a general overview and highlighting key features of the pie charts. The comparison between male and female employment patterns is present, and the main trends are identified. However, there are some areas for improvement. The report could benefit from more precise language and a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data. Additionally, while the main trends are mentioned, more specific data points and comparisons could be included to support the overall observations. Finally, ensure that all percentages are accurate and that the calculations are correct.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. Paragraphing is generally present, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences more effectively. For example, using transition words or phrases to indicate contrast, comparison, or consequence can enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, using more specific terms related to employment patterns could enhance the clarity and sophistication of the writing. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for an academic report. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors in grammar and sentence construction. These errors occasionally impede understanding. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for grammatical errors can significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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