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Band 5+: writing task 1 information about student accommodation in a city in US in 2013

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The image depicts student accommodation in 2013, showing undergraduates and postgraduates across various categories: University dormitory saw 45000 undergraduates and 500 postgraduates; With parents had 5000 undergraduates, 0 postgraduates; Shared apartment had 2000 undergraduates and 1800 postgraduates; Own apartment had 1000 undergraduates, 3000 postgraduates; Shared house had 3000 undergraduates, 2000 postgraduates; Own house had 500 undergraduates, 1000 postgraduates; Married student housing had 0 undergraduates, 500 postgraduates.

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The chart illustrates the number of undergraduates and graduates , and data about accommodation at one university in Us in 2013.

Overall it’s noticeable, that among undergraduates the usage of University dormitory was leading, while among graduates it was the most passive option. Similarly high results had students ,who were sharing apartment. Based on this chart the most unpopular option among undergraduate students was owning house, also there were a small amount of married students, who were living together.

The number of undergraduate students , who were living in university dormitories was the highest, it was about 4200, while among graduates it didn’t have any inhabitants. Approximately 3800 students were sharing apartment . The number of students , who were sharing house was less than , who were sharing appartments, and had middle position on the chart, it was about 1500 among undergraduates, and nearly 1000 among graduates. The minimal indicators were in categories like owning house, married students housing and living with parents. Especially the amount of graduates , who were sharing accommodation with their parents, there was almost none. And ın other 2 accommodation types the number of students were ın the order of 100 to 1000.

Word Count: 199

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 8

among: 6

graduates: 5

sharing: 5

number: 4

chart: 3

undergraduates: 3

about: 3

accommodation: 3

university: 3

house: 3

living: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing student accommodation types and comparing undergraduates and postgraduates. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., 4200 instead of 45000, 3800 instead of 2000/1800, etc.) and some irrelevant or unclear statements (e.g., 'the most passive option'). The overall structure is present, but the report would benefit from more precise data representation and clearer comparisons. Focus on accurately reporting the figures and avoiding vague language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction and an overall summary, but the flow of information is sometimes difficult to follow. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally inaccurate (e.g., 'Similarly high results had students'). Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and there are lapses in logical progression, such as jumping between categories without clear connections. To improve, focus on organizing data by category or trend, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'furthermore'), and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but limited in range and precision. There are some attempts at variation (e.g., 'leading', 'passive option', 'minimal indicators'), but many terms are repetitive or informal (e.g., 'middle position'). Some word choices are inaccurate or unclear (e.g., 'it didn't have any inhabitants'). To improve, expand your vocabulary with more precise academic terms (e.g., 'predominant', 'negligible', 'accounted for') and avoid vague expressions. Also, ensure correct spelling (e.g., 'apartments' not 'appartments').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Issues include incorrect subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it didn't have any inhabitants'), missing articles, punctuation errors (e.g., unnecessary commas), and inconsistent tense usage. There is also a mix of singular/plural forms (e.g., 'students ,who were sharing apartment'). To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with relative clauses) and review basic grammar rules, especially for articles, prepositions, and verb forms. Proofreading for errors is essential.

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