Bar Chart

Band 6+: Writing task 1 The chart illustrates data about the contribution

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The image illustrates sector contributions to India's GDP: in 1960, agriculture constitutes 62%, industry 19%, services 19%; 1970 sees agriculture at 48%, industry at 25%, services at 27%; 1980 reflects agriculture at 37%, industry at 23%, services at 40%; by 1990, agriculture is 32%, industry remains 27%, services reach 41%; finally, in 2000, agriculture drops to 26%, industry at 25%, services peak at 49%.

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The given chart illustrates India’s GDP shares on 3 main sectors: agriculture, industry, services during 40 years period from 1960 to 2000.

Overall, while the amount agriculture sector was decreasing steadily by the end of the given period the opposite is true for other services.

Looking at the years when agriculture field featured majority of GDP, in 1960 it reached its peak of around 62% while the other two sectors were almost at the same level of 15%. However, agriculture has been reducing noticably by the end of the period, and even showed the lowest share of GDP only with 14% in 2000.

Rising slowly by the year of 1980, the services showed the significant grow in its rate in next two decades, 45% and 63%, respectively. GDP contribution for the industry field was also raising regularly by the 1980 and remained its approximate 25% level by the end of the period.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

agriculture: 4

period: 4

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Task Response

The report covers the main trends in the bar chart, noting the decline of agriculture and the rise of the service sector. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., agriculture at 14% in 2000, services at 63%). To improve, ensure data accuracy and include more specific comparisons between the sectors at different time points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but there are instances where the flow could be improved. Transitions between ideas are not always smooth, affecting the overall coherence. For example, the shift from the overall trend to specific years could be more clearly signposted. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but could be refined to better group related ideas. To improve, focus on using clearer transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. Some phrases are slightly awkward or could be expressed more concisely. For instance, consider alternative ways to describe the changes in GDP shares. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to economic trends and using more precise language to describe the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. For example, sentences like 'while the amount agriculture sector was decreasing steadily' and 'services showed the significant grow' contain grammatical errors. To improve, carefully review your work for grammatical errors, paying attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practicing sentence construction and seeking feedback on your grammar can also be beneficial.

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