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Band 6+: Writing : THE LINE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE RESULTS OF A SURVEY GIVING A REASON WHY PEOPLE MOVED TO THE CAPITAL CITY OF A PARTICULAR COUNTRY

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The image shows a line chart detailing survey results for moving reasons from 2000 to 2015 across four categories: employment, studies, family/friends, and adventure. Employment data records starting at 60,000 in 2000, rising to over 80,000 by 2005, dipping slightly, then reaching to 90,000 in 2015. Study-related reasons show a gradual ascent from over 10,000 in 2000, climbing to 30,000 by 2005, reaching 40,000 by 2010, and peaking at 50,000 in 2015. Family/friends starts at 20,000 steady until 2005, slightly increasing thereafter, ending near 30,000 by 2015. Adventure-related motivations commence slightly below 5,000 in 2000, progressing slowly and steadily to almost 10,000 by 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The line graph illustrates the results of a survey about several factors which people chose to move to the capital city of a particular nation between 2000 and 2015.

Overall, employment was the main popular reason for individuals throughout the given years, while study experienced a significant rise, reaching the same figure by the end of the period. Additionally, family, friends and adventure showed a slight growth over the period.

Starting with the most common categories, 60,000 people preferred employment to visit to this city in 2000. Then, they increased moderately, hitting its peak of just over 90,000 in 2010. Nevertheless, they dropped marginally to around 87,000 by 2015. For study, there was a soar in the number of traveller, doubling to just under 50,000 from 2000 to 2005. After it went up negligibly to roughly 55,000 in 2010, a jump was seen in the figure, exploding to approximately 87,000 by 2015.

Regarding other categories, the number of visitors choosing to move due to their families, friends and adventure stood at the same figure at almost 10,000. The former increased to around 22,000, while the latter showed a minimal climb to about 15,000 by 2015.

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides an overview, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. While the prompt asks for reasons why people *moved* to a city, the report frequently refers to them as 'travellers' or 'visitors,' which changes the nature of the data. More importantly, the numerical descriptions in the body paragraphs often contradict the visual description provided (for example, the study category figures and the starting points for family/adventure). To improve, ensure that the data reported aligns strictly with the provided trends and that the terminology used remains consistent with the context of 'moving' rather than 'visiting'.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Starting with', 'Additionally', and 'Regarding other categories' helps the reader navigate the information. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother to ensure the flow is effortless. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the relationship between ideas is more nuanced rather than just listing trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing trends (e.g., 'significant rise', 'marginal drop', 'minimal climb'). However, there are several instances of imprecise word choices and awkward phrasing. For example, 'main popular reason' is redundant, and 'the number of traveller' should be plural. Using words like 'soar' and 'exploding' to describe moderate changes can feel hyperbolic and slightly inappropriate for an academic report. Aim for more precise academic collocations and ensure that the nouns and verbs match the context of the data (e.g., people 'moving' rather than 'travellers' visiting).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'number of traveller'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'preferred employment to visit to this city'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'there was a soar'). To improve, focus on the accuracy of noun forms and the correct use of gerunds and infinitives. Practicing the use of complex structures like relative clauses and passive voice more accurately will help elevate the score.

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