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Letter

Band 5+: You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: -give details of your study plans -explain why you want to get a part-time job -suggest how your friend could help you find a job

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

How have you been recently? I am delighted to hear about your new promoted position. Congratulations! Finally, I got a university scholarship offer letter which I did a lot of effort to obtain. The university offers a school fee for 2 years and the living cost will be paid individually. My study starts in Spring of next year so I need a significant arrangement for accommodation and outgoings now.

I find it quite comfortable to stay in my older sister’s house which is slightly close to the university. It just takes about 10 minutes to get to the academic venue by public transportation. My paramount concern is regarding the cost of living thus I am required to look for a part time job. As a job seeker, I strongly believe that it is vital to have a comprehensive understanding about working experience requirements.

I highly appreciate that you can detail some suggestions which assist me to find a part time job. In our community, are there diverse part time job offers and what kind of them? Do you have any idea about casual working shifts for part time jobs? Moreover, what are qualifications, working experiences or personal performances that I should gain in order to be a qualified candidate?

I am looking forward to hearing your response. Take care of yourself.

Best regards,

Word Count: 223

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 4

university: 3

which: 3

working: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6.5

The letter effectively addresses the task by providing details about the study plans, explaining the need for a part-time job, and suggesting ways the friend can help. However, the letter could be more concise and focused on the request for help.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5

The letter is generally coherent, but the flow could be improved by better connecting ideas and using more cohesive devices. The paragraphing is adequate but could be more effective.

Lexical Resource

6

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but some choices are not entirely natural or precise. The use of collocations and idioms could be more sophisticated.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and fluency of the writing. The use of tenses and sentence structures could be more accurate and varied.

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