Letter

Band 4+: You are organizing a charity fundraising event at your workplace and need to collaborate with your colleagues. Write an email to your colleagues to discuss the arrangements for the event. You should include details about: - The purpose of the fundraising event and the charity it will support - The date, time, and venue of the event - Specific tasks and responsibilities you would like them to take on, such as promotion, setup, or collecting donations.

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Hello dear colleagues! I’m Jack Daniel, from our job. I’m writing this letter to tell you about charity fundraising which is going to start today, at 18:00 p.m.

The charity fundraising called “Helping pets”. I found shelter for pets which is needs to help. That shelter helped and looked for pets for a long time. But now, they met problem with provision of feed and shortage of medicine. So if we collect money or get some feed and things of medicine it would help them to much.

At first our aim is help them( maybe some people can take a pet for home and take care of its). “Helping pets” needs it. So, when this charity fundraising coming to the end I will guide all collected money to their bank account.

If you couldn’t come to this event, I will leave a number of their bank account and you also can donate for their YouTube channel that’s called “We are with Pets”. I just want to tell you that there many ways to support and help them.

Waiting you on “Helping pets”, be kind and pay attention for poor pets! Thank you for understanding.

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

pets": 4

charity: 3

fundraising: 3

"helping: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by explaining the charity fundraising event and asking for participation. However, it includes some irrelevant information and lacks detail in key areas. To improve, provide more specific details about how colleagues can volunteer their time and how to sign up for event planning. Also, ensure the tone is consistently professional and clear.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, making it difficult to follow the purpose and details of the fundraising event. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. To improve coherence, use clearer transitions between ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the event, such as its purpose, ways to contribute, or how to sign up. A more logical flow of information will greatly enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the effectiveness of the message. There is a lack of precision in word choice. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to charity, fundraising, and support. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'help,' consider synonyms like 'support,' 'assist,' or 'contribute.' Using more specific and varied language will make the letter more engaging and persuasive. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. Sentence structure is often awkward, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on constructing clear and grammatically correct sentences. Review basic grammar rules and consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors. Practicing sentence construction and varying sentence types will also help to enhance grammatical range.

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Band 4+

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