Letter

Band 6+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend. You need to request the use of the community hall in your neighborhood. Write a letter to the community hall manager to request permission to use the hall. You should include: - the date and time you would like to book the hall - the number of guests you expect - the reason for the event and why this venue is suitable.

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Dear Sir,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request to you that I need to borrow a spacious room in one of our community center.

The reason for this is that I am planning to arrange a surprise birthday party for one of my closest friends. I need to make arrangements on 10th December from 12:PM and our function will end around 2:00AM in night. Therefore, I need the accommodation on that particular date.

I have planned an indoor game show which will last for about 1 hour. Moreover, there will be a dinner and with a cake cutting ceremony the party will come to an end.

I would be highly appreciable if you could inform me about the availability of room on aforementioned date. Also, could you please inform me that if there are any extra charges such as, electricity bills, which I need to pay in advance. Please let me know.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours faithfully,

Hasham Ameen

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant details about the request, planned activities, and inquiries regarding availability and costs. There are a few minor areas for improvement, such as refining some phrasing for greater precision and naturalness. For example, instead of 'I am writing to request to you that I need to borrow,' consider 'I am writing to request the use of.' Also, specifying the year for the date would enhance clarity. Overall, the letter is well-written and effectively communicates the intended message.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the instructions: purpose and date, guest number and activities, and inquiries about availability and costs. This will enhance clarity and make it easier for the reader to follow your request.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task. However, you could enhance your letter by incorporating more varied and specific vocabulary related to event planning and community center facilities. For example, instead of just saying 'spacious room,' you could describe the type of room you need (e.g., a hall, a function room). Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, 'I am writing to request to you that I need to borrow' can be simplified to 'I am writing to request the use of'. Pay close attention to prepositions, articles, and verb tenses. Proofreading carefully before submitting your letter can help catch these errors.

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