Letter

Band 6+: You are unhappy with the gym that you recently joined. Write a letter to the gym manager. - Explain what you like about the gym. - Describe what problems you have experienced. - Suggest what the gym could do to improve.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with some fitness facilities at your club.

Firstly, I have recently joined the Atelier Fitness Club. I have heard online about your gym which impressed me a lot. Unfortunately, in my first week I got a bad experience with some amenities. Many treadmills are not working properly as they slow down suddenly in the middle of walking. Also, some weight equipment is broken, which may cause injury during exercise. In addition, the air conditioning is not working properly in all exercise areas.

These kinds of problems affect me a lot because my marriage is within 2 months and for that reason I have to lose my weight up to 10 kg within 2 months. However, with these kinds of major problems which I faced during that 1 week, which affect me a lot, I cannot complete my daily schedule due to having these consequences. As it is very frustrating to do exercise with these kinds of problems.

I kindly request you to fix this problem with improving advanced and new gym amenities as well as I would be glad if you could fix the air conditioning problem as well. I believe that with this major improvement in your club, many people tend to do more workout at your club which is a great success in reputation.

I am looking forward to receiving a positive response from your side.

Yours faithfully,

Pooja Maisuria

Word Count: 241

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 5

exercise: 3

kinds: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, clearly explaining the problems, their impact, and suggestions for improvement. The content is relevant and sufficiently detailed. To further improve, consider adding more specific details about the impact of the issues and providing more concrete suggestions for improvement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider dedicating a paragraph to each main point (problems, effects, and suggestions). The transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, when moving from describing the problems to explaining their impact, use transitional phrases to connect the ideas more clearly. In the third paragraph, the purpose of the writer is not clear.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'problems,' try synonyms like 'issues,' 'deficiencies,' or 'malfunctions.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to fitness and gym equipment to enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of tenses. For example, in the second paragraph, sentences like 'Many treadmills are not working properly as they slow down suddenly in the middle of walking' can be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. Pay close attention to punctuation as well to avoid run-on sentences and improve readability.

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