Letter

Band 5+: You purchased a mobile phone from an online store a week ago, but you've encountered several issues with it since receiving it. Write a letter to the online store's customer service department complaining about the faulty mobile phone. You should mention: - The specific problems you are experiencing with the phone - What steps you have already taken to try and resolve the issues - What you expect the online store to do to rectify the situation

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To whomever it may concern,

I am writing to bring your attention to the matter of a smartphone that i recently purchased from your prestigious retail shop “The Best Buy” located at 12 parkway forest.Since i bought it, i am facing numerous issues with its functioning.

To begin with, the mobile screen stops working on certain occasions.Usually,whenever i trie to pick up a call,its screen get freeze and i am not able to attend the calls.Furthermore, the battery drain too fast,whereas when i purchased it,the saleperson mentioned that the battery backup is upto 12 hrs,whereas it only lasts for 2-3 hrs.Due to these issues,i am not able to utilise it properly and i have missed many important calls.

Therefore, i would like to get a refund or replace this phone. i humbly request to your store to address this concern at your earliest convienence.

Your faithfully

rishu

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by detailing the problems with the smartphone, explaining their impact, and suggesting a resolution. However, the letter could benefit from more specific details about the phone model and purchase date to strengthen the complaint. Also, the tone could be slightly more formal and the closing more professional. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each problem for clarity. The flow between ideas is somewhat disjointed at times. For example, the transition between the screen freezing issue and the battery drain could be smoother. Using cohesive devices like 'In addition to this' or 'Moreover' can help improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Using more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the letter. For instance, instead of 'stops working,' you could use 'malfunctions' or 'becomes unresponsive.' Instead of 'battery drain too fast' you could say 'battery depletes rapidly'. Also, avoid informal language such as 'The Best Buy' in a formal letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('screen get freeze' should be 'screen freezes'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward phrasing. Pay close attention to verb tenses and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors. For example, 'i trie' should be 'I try', and 'earliest convienence' should be 'earliest convenience'.

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