Letter

Band 4+: You purchased a mobile phone from an online store a week ago, but you've encountered several issues with it since receiving it. Write a letter to the online store's customer service department complaining about the faulty mobile phone. You should mention: - The specific problems you are experiencing with the phone - What steps you have already taken to try and resolve the issues - What you expect the online store to do to rectify the situation

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Dear Online Store,im writing to you,to awarness you about the problem that happened to my phone that i ordered in your store.

i ordered Iphone 17 pro max in october 5 th for my little sisters birthday in noveber 3 rd, but for some reasons phone arrive early for which im realy glad,however i saw some damages on my new phone

I found out that screen has cracked in come plases but still working,i turn the phone on and saw that the phone battery is half full and seems faulty. I was really shocked when i saw these damages on my brand new phone,and decide to write a letter to your store and talk about how we can solve that problem

In my opinion it would be fair, if you could send me a new phone and give discount card for my future purchase,or just give me my money back and i will send you the phone dack

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 6

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by detailing the phone's condition, specific problems, and desired resolution. However, the language could be more precise and formal for a customer service complaint. To improve, focus on using more specific vocabulary related to phone defects and ensure a consistently professional tone throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more formal transitions and structuring your paragraphs around specific points to enhance readability. For example, dedicate a paragraph to describing the phone's condition, another to the specific problems, and a final one to your desired resolution.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more precise and varied word choices. For instance, instead of 'saw some damages,' you could use 'noticed several defects.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammar and punctuation errors are frequent and impact clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct tense usage. For example, 'im writing to you,to awarness you' should be 'I am writing to you to inform you.' Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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