Letter

Band 5+: You recently attended a training course that was much shorter than advertised. You feel that the course did not cover all the necessary information. Write a letter to the training course provider. - Explain what course you attended and when. - Describe what aspects of the course were missing or incomplete. - Apologize for any inconvenience, but request a partial refund or further training.

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From: Mohiputlall Ashna

To: Curtin University

Address: Telfair, moka Mauritius

Dear Sir/ Ma’am, I hope this letter finds you in good spirit. I’m writing to inform you that past one week of training at your institution in the early childhood development sector, 23th July 2024, I was very unhappy about the way educators teach learners. I did not appreciate with the way the lady spoke to me it felt really unprofessional. I believe that when we work with young children educators needs to have a great approach towards people. Not rudeness or unkindness. I would request if you could take my letter into consideration and speak to your employees and find a solution about the situation for future opportunities.

Thank you for your patience and your understanding, I hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day ahead.

Kind regards,

Ashna.

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the main points of the task, but it lacks detail and clarity in some areas. The letter identifies the course and date, and mentions dissatisfaction with the educators' teaching methods and unprofessional behavior. However, it could benefit from more specific examples of what made the course unsatisfactory. To improve, provide more concrete details about the issues experienced and suggest a more specific action for the provider to take. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between your points to guide the reader. For example, you could start a new paragraph when you transition from stating the course details to explaining the unsatisfactory aspects. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it by incorporating more specific and varied language. For instance, instead of saying 'a great approach,' you could use terms like 'nurturing demeanor' or 'patient communication style.' This would make your letter more descriptive and impactful.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, correct article usage (a/an/the), and sentence structure. For example, 'past one week of training...23th July 2024' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Also, the sentence 'I did not appreciate with the way the lady spoke to me' needs correction. Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to minimize these errors.

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