Letter

Band 4+: You recently bought a new gadget online, but it arrived damaged. Write a letter to your friend. You should include: • What gadget you bought and from where • What was wrong with it when it arrived • How it made you feel • What your friend could do if they were in your place

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Hello,

Recently your XYZ company launched new camera with flagship features and i got attracted to new advance technologies which this camera incudes in budget price therefore I ordered that camera from your online website store week ago, however after opening package I found out that camers’s lens has lens flair there for to get solution in regards this issue I am writing this letter to you.

I ordered this camera on 13th november and received on 17th november. When I show that packaging of the camera i doubted that camera would be working properly or not because the outer box had many dents from inproper handeling of the delievery package. Therefore camera’s many part got many damages from that.

I would like to get resolution in this matter as soon as possible, becuase in month I am going to participate in international photographic competition in china. There are two options for you either arrange replacement for this camera or refund me full amount.

Thank you

Yours sincerely,

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

camera: 7

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the situation, detailing the product and damage, and stating the desired action. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on clarity and precision in language, and ensure consistent use of articles and prepositions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more effective transitions between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, in the second paragraph, explicitly linking the damaged packaging to your concern about the camera's condition would enhance coherence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the prompt to maintain clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances where more specific word choices would enhance the impact and clarity of your message. For example, instead of 'lens flair,' you could describe the specific damage to the lens more accurately. Expanding your vocabulary and using more descriptive language will improve this aspect of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice are present throughout the letter. For example, the first sentence is quite convoluted and contains multiple errors. Focus on constructing simpler, grammatically correct sentences. Review basic grammar rules and practice applying them in your writing to improve accuracy.

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