Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a new smartphone from an online retailer, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the online retailer complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - when and where you bought the phone - what the specific problems with the phone are - what action you expect the retailer to take to resolve this issue.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope this email finds you well. Im writing to express my dissatisfaction with my recent experience. I purchased a new phone from your company to be specific the Iphone 15 Pro with grey colour. I bought it on Monday, 24 August 2025 in one of your online store which is Tokopedia. It was delivered to my house today. Upon opening the package, i discovered the screen was severely damaged and i tried to using the phone but the battery is not functioning normally, it drains within an hour. I have evidence that the phone was damaged during delivery and i could share to you the unboxing video for your reference. Kindly respond this email as soon as possible , i hope your company allowing me to resend back this damaged phone and send me a new phone as replacement or reimbursing me for it. i look forward for your prompt response, since this phone will give it to my mother as her birthday gift

best regards

geraldi

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 6

damaged: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses all the requirements of the task, clearly stating the issue, providing necessary details about the purchase and the phone's problems, and suggesting a course of action for resolution. To improve, consider enhancing the level of detail in describing the damage and the battery issue. Also, ensure a consistently formal tone throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and addresses all points in the task. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping related ideas together more clearly. For example, the details about the purchase (date, place, and phone model) could be presented in a single, concise sentence or paragraph. Also, ensure a smoother transition between the description of the problems and the requested action.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of 'severely damaged,' you could use 'cracked' or 'shattered.' Also, consider using more formal language where appropriate, such as 'I am writing to express my dissatisfaction' instead of 'Im writing to express my dissatisfaction'. Using a wider range of vocabulary would enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('i tried to using'), missing articles ('the Iphone 15 Pro'), and incorrect pronoun usage. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors. For example, 'I tried to use the phone' is more accurate.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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