Letter

Band 6+: You recently signed up for a language course at a local college, but you've found that the course doesn't meet your expectations. Write a letter to the course coordinator explaining the reasons for your dissatisfaction. You should include details about: - What aspects of the course are unsatisfactory - Why you chose the course originally - What you would like the college to do to address your concerns.

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Dear Principal Watson,

My name is Tiara and I am writing this letter to deliver my feedback in regards of the Arts & Culture course at Global College on last Monday.

First, I would like to express my gratitude for the opportunity to attend the Arts & Culture course last week. It is such an honour for me to take part in Mr. Smith class.

While the class was very insightful, there are several evaluoations that need to be addressed in order to maintain or even increase the standard of Global College courses.

I could not help but noticed how Mr. Smith only focused his attention to several students in the class and did not interact with the others. The rest of the class felt disappointed because they did not have the chance to actively participate in the discussion, as Mr. Smith kept ignoring their questions.

I belive that Mr. Smith did not intentionally leave other students out of the discussion, but we would like him to understand how yesterday’s class has failed to meet the student’s expectation. By writing this letter, I wish that the Global College can look into it and take action so this issue will not happen again in the future.

Thank you for your time, I apologize for any inconvenience I may cause due to this letter.

Sincerely,

Tiara

Word Count: 224

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smith: 4

class: 4

global: 3

college: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the dissatisfaction with the course and suggesting improvements. However, the apology feels somewhat buried at the end. To improve, consider placing the apology earlier in the letter and elaborating on the suggestions for improvement to make them more concrete.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and logically organized, but there are some areas where the flow could be improved. The introduction clearly states the purpose of the letter. The body paragraphs address the reasons for dissatisfaction and suggestions for improvement. The conclusion provides a polite closing. To enhance coherence, consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, you could use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' or 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your reasoning more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. The language is generally appropriate, but some phrases could be more precise and impactful. For instance, instead of saying 'several evaluoations that need to be addressed,' you could use a more specific phrase like 'specific areas for improvement' or 'key aspects that require attention.' To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. There are a few grammatical errors and phrasing issues. For example, 'in regards of' should be 'regarding,' and 'Mr. Smith class' should be 'Mr. Smith's class.' To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your writing and pay attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Also, try to vary your sentence structure to enhance the overall flow and readability of your writing.

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