Letter

Band 5+: You saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a part-time job in a restaurant. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your skills and experience say when you are available for an interview Write at least 150 words. Begin your letter with: Dear Sir or Madam

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to inquire about the job vacancies at your restaurant. Yesterday, I saw an advertisement in a local newspaper related to the employment vacancy. However, I have completed my business management program last year, and I have an experience of 3 months in a local cafe as an assistant manager.

Furthermore, I have also started my master program related to this field at my nearby university. In contrast, I have been looking for a part-time job in a restaurant for the last 2 weeks. This job would be beneficial to gain more work experience as well as to manage my daily expenses.

With doing this part-time job, I can manage my higher study while working, as it has both advantages in terms of stable life. Moreover, I have already attached all my necessary documents copy for your reference.

I kindly request you to please check all my work detail and education background and hire me in a good position in your restaurant as part-time work.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Pooja Maisuria

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

restaurant: 3

part-time: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements but includes some irrelevant information and lacks clarity in certain areas. The explanation of current activities and skills is present, but the letter could be improved by providing more specific details about skills and experience relevant to the restaurant job. The availability for an interview is missing. The tone is overly formal and includes some repetitive phrasing. To improve, focus on providing concise and relevant information, specifying availability, and adopting a more natural tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization could be improved for better flow. Consider dedicating a paragraph to each of the task's requirements: your current situation, skills/experience, and availability. Transition words could be used more effectively to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, the transition between your completed business management program and starting your master's program could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more specific and varied word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'job,' you could use synonyms like 'position' or 'employment.' Also, try to use more descriptive language when detailing your skills and experience.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct tense usage. For example, 'With doing this part-time job' is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased. Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch these errors.

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