Letter

Band 7+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter * ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are * ask what activities are available * ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to complain about my dissatisfaction regarding your gym and its services. I enrolled in to the gym 3 weeks ago and bought star membership which allows me to access all areas of the facility without any extra conditions or payment needed. The reason I bought this offer was because I work in a busy company where I have to deal with many stressful duties, therefore, I need my gym sessions to flow without any restrictions.

Unfortunately, I found myself in uncomfortable situations during my time there for two weeks. First, on Saturday I could not use the sauna after the workout because the employee works there told me that I do not have the required access even though I have the entitlement. She completely ignored my card that shows my membership status. In addition, my membership allows me to get complimentary smoothies from the bar but it was closed three days in a row this week. The staff said it is being renovated, you can use the other bar on the other side of the place. The problem is that bar do not recognize my status and requires me to pay for them.

I would like you to redesign what is included to the types of membership and provide services we are entitled to have.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Word Count: 233

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

membership: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining when the writer joined the gym, describing the problems experienced, and suggesting a solution. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but overall the letter is clear and coherent. To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring consistent verb tense throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear from the beginning, and the progression of ideas is logical. However, there are a few areas where coherence could be improved. For instance, in the second paragraph, the transition between the sauna issue and the smoothie bar issue could be smoother. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect these points more explicitly. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Words and phrases such as 'dissatisfaction,' 'enrolled,' 'entitlement,' and 'complimentary' are used effectively. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary related to gym facilities and services. For example, instead of 'the employee works there,' you could use 'the sauna attendant.' Also, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are some grammatical errors and phrasing issues that need attention. For example, 'I enrolled in to the gym' should be 'I enrolled in the gym' or 'I enrolled at the gym.' Also, 'the employee works there told me' could be improved to 'the employee on duty told me.' Pay close attention to prepositions and articles, as these are areas where errors commonly occur. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these mistakes.

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