Letter

Band 4+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter * ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are * ask what activities are available * ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writting this because I am looking for a new gym. Two days ago I stalked on instagram about your gym place. As a result, I am intrested becauce your gym place offers 30% discounts for beginner, and the important thing is your gym place has a clean toilet.

As it is my first time want to try a gym, therefore could you tell me what types of membership are available, and what the prices are? but there is something that I really curious about your gym place is what activities are available and provided.

I would also like to know what the joining procedure is? and do you provided free trial or free personal trainer I think I need personal trainer as it’s my first time want to try a gym.

Thank You in advance, I look forward to hearing from you pretty soon.

Best wishes,

versa

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

place: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the task, which is a positive aspect. However, the development of these points is somewhat thin, and the tone is occasionally inappropriate for a formal inquiry (for example, using the word 'stalked' is highly informal and carries a negative connotation in English). To improve, ensure that each requirement is expanded upon with more detail to reach the word count more naturally. Additionally, focus on maintaining a consistent formal tone suitable for writing to a manager, and work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and grammatical errors that affect the flow of information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows the required structure by addressing the prompts, but the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of conjunctions like 'therefore' and 'but' is often incorrect, which disrupts the logical progression of sentences. To improve, try to use one paragraph for each bullet point in the task. This will create a clearer organizational structure. Additionally, avoid starting sentences with 'but' in formal correspondence; instead, use transitions like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' to connect your thoughts.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and contains several informal or inappropriate word choices. For example, the word 'stalked' has a negative connotation and is unsuitable for a formal letter to a manager; 'saw' or 'came across' would be much better. There are also several spelling errors such as 'writting', 'intrested', and 'becauce'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to fitness (e.g., 'fitness facilities', 'membership plans', 'enrollment process') and ensure you practice spelling common words.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally make the reader pause to understand the meaning. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'do you provided'), incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'As it is my first time want to try'), and improper punctuation (e.g., using question marks in the middle of statements). Work on mastering basic sentence structures and the use of relative clauses. For instance, instead of 'it's my first time want to try', use 'it is my first time trying a gym'.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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