Letter

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words

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Dear sir or madam

I am writing to show my interest to attend seminar which is being conducted by you in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and would like to ask more information about the same.

Basically, I live in Newyork and saw the advertisement of seminar in local newspaper however there was no secondary information mentioned. I would like to ask the exact dates on which the seminar will be held as well as the programs that will be offered. As I am a computer analyst, I hope I will find jobs or courses that will help in my career growth.

Apart from this, my friend attended this seminar few months back and she stayed in the all inclusive accommodation provided by you. Please let me know the availability and cost related to the accomodation and the miscellaneous expenses. I would prefer double occupancy room if possible, as my sister will accompany me to attend this seminar.

I hope you will respond to this letter at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully

Sharon

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

seminar: 4

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses the task by requesting information on dates, program, accommodation, and cost. It is relevant and sufficiently detailed. Minor lapses include a slight lack of clarity on the program details and a minor spelling error ('accomodation'). To improve, ensure all requested points are explicitly covered and proofread for spelling and grammar.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and missing connectors. For example, the transition from the first paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of paragraphs is adequate, but the second paragraph is quite long and could be split for better clarity. Overall, the message is understandable but not effortless to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is appropriate for the task, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'seminar' is used repeatedly, and 'accommodation' is misspelled as 'accomodation'. The phrase 'secondary information' is not idiomatic; 'further details' would be better. The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are informal (e.g., 'I hope I will find jobs or courses'). More precise and varied word choices would improve the response.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'to attend seminar' should be 'to attend the seminar', and 'which is being conducted by you' is awkward; 'that you are conducting' is better. The sentence 'I live in Newyork and saw the advertisement of seminar in local newspaper' has missing articles and incorrect capitalization ('Newyork' should be 'New York'). Also, 'she stayed in the all inclusive accommodation' should be 'she stayed in the all-inclusive accommodation'. The letter would benefit from more varied sentence structures and careful proofreading.

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