Table

Band 4+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays data in a table illustrating percentages of bicycle riders within a town segmented by age and gender for the year 2011; the age groups are categorized as follows: age group 0-9 shows 51.4% female and 50.3% male, age group 10-17 with 42.2% female and 24.6% male, age group 18-39 reveals 17.1% female and 9.7% male, age group 40-59 includes 12.3% female and 8.0% male, age group 60+ comprises 18.5% female and 13.2% male.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This table indicate the proportion of the population of male and females who rode the bicycles in 2011. The group is categorized based on age group and gender. This data is observed in one town only.

Starting off with the youngest demographic cohorts, which is from 0 to 9 years old, which has a marginal difference for 1.1 % of female. While 10-17 age groups has also a huge gap between the male a female, for male it has 24.6 %, while female has 42.2%

The next section is the middle-aged cohorts, which is between 18 and 39 years old, and again as the previous and all of the cohorts that female always surpass their male counterparts that have a around 8% substantial difference. For older brackets, man and women has a huge difference of distribution. As we can observed, while the age increases, population of female and male decreases, which is known as an inverse proportion, except for the elderly aged which has a few increase compared to the 40 to 59 aged groups.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 5

female: 5

cohorts: 3

difference: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task by attempting to compare the different age groups and genders. However, the response is somewhat underdeveloped and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. While some data points are included, the description of the trends is occasionally confusing (for example, the claim regarding 'inverse proportion' is not entirely accurate across all data points). To improve, ensure that the overview clearly summarizes the most significant trends (such as females generally riding more than males across all groups) and aim for more precise grammatical structures to improve clarity and flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, following an age-based progression. However, the cohesion is significantly hindered by fragmented sentences and improper use of relative clauses (e.g., 'Starting off with... which is... which has...'). Many sentences are incomplete or lack a main clause, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of ideas. To improve, focus on using full sentence structures and cohesive devices like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Regarding the...' to link your observations more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

You have attempted to use some academic vocabulary such as 'demographic cohorts,' 'marginal difference,' and 'surpass their male counterparts.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the elderly aged which has a few increase'). There are also errors in word forms and usage. Aim to expand your range of descriptive adjectives and ensure that the words you choose fit naturally within the context of data description. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This table indicate,' 'man and women has'), tense consistency, and sentence structure. The use of 'which' creates many sentence fragments rather than complex sentences. You should practice constructing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions correctly and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb.

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