Letter

Band 4+: Your company is hosting an annual charity event, and you're tasked with inviting local business owners to participate. Write a letter to a local business owner inviting them to the event. You should include details about: - the purpose of the charity event and the cause it supports - the date, time, and location of the event, along with any featured activities - how their participation will benefit the charity and provide exposure for their business

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Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you about a program that I am organizing the next Sunday.

I am arranging this even for creating a good bond among all business man. Additionally, I believe that it would help our charity. Since, it is a big event I hope I can collect much money for charity fundrising.

As I said earlier it will held on 13 October and it would be Sunday. Considering all business man time facility I decided it arrange at 2.0 pm. As there will be around 200 people I booked the Kings Hotel which is located the Zindabazer main road.

I believe your perticipate would be a great chance to contribute in this charity fundrising. you can contribute easily through the cahrity among poor people. Furthermore, you would be able to complete the charity work which is uncomplete until now.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,Sharif Ahmed

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 4

charity: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant information (creating a bond among businessmen) that detracts from the task achievement. The letter needs to be more specific about the charity being supported and provide concrete ways businesses can contribute, rather than general statements about charity work. To improve, focus on directly addressing each point in the task instructions with clear and relevant details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. To improve coherence, use more explicit transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, clarify the relationship between the event and the charity it supports. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate ('fundrising,' 'perticipate'). Expand your range of vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise words to describe the event, its purpose, and ways businesses can contribute. For example, instead of 'creating a good bond,' consider 'fostering connections' or 'networking opportunities.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structure and using correct grammar. For example, 'I am arranging this even for creating a good bond among all business man' should be revised to 'I am organizing this event to foster connections among local business leaders.' Proofread carefully to catch and correct these errors.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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