Opinion

Band 6+: As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported to long distance. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Write not less than 250 words.

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Due to international trade growth, lots of products consumed daily are manufactured in a different nation and have to be shipped far away. While I understand why some may believe that they would cause bad influences, I still think that it is more beneficial for residents.

Admittedly, some may consider that they have a worse impact. Firstly, long-distance transport causes significant pollution, including air and water pollution. Both sea and air transport consume a huge amount of oil, which will lead to more severe resource shortages. Secondly, this will impact local businesses. If imported goods better suit consumer preferences, it can lead to unsold local products. Hence, this is risky for local businesses.

However, I believe that they are more beneficial for residents. The first reason is that imports can compensate for products that are not manufactured domestically due to a lack of technology or raw materials, resulting in higher costs. This gives people more choices. Furthermore, the availability of importation stimulates local companies to develop higher-quality products. This is a great opportunity for the public to improve goods quality, and this type of healthy competition also has a positive impact on the economy.

In conclusion, products manufactured by different countries and transported long distances lead to lots of threats for local businesses and amounts of pollution. However, importing goods is also significant, as it provides more choices for people and has a positive impact on economic development.

Word Count: 238

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

products: 5

local: 5

impact: 4

manufactured: 3

pollution: 3

goods: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear, consistent position throughout. The ideas are relevant and well-organized, with a logical progression from the drawbacks to the benefits. The argument regarding how competition stimulates local quality is particularly well-developed. To reach a higher score, you could further extend your ideas by providing more specific examples (e.g., mentioning specific industries or types of goods) to add depth to the supporting points. Additionally, ensuring a more sophisticated range of cohesive devices and vocabulary would enhance the overall flow and precision of the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices like 'Admittedly', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'However' helps guide the reader. To improve, try to use more sophisticated linking phrases and ensure that the transition between the environmental impact and the impact on local businesses is smoother. Avoid repetitive sentence structures to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and conveys the intended meaning clearly. However, there is a reliance on relatively simple phrasing (e.g., 'lots of products', 'bad influences', 'huge amount', 'great opportunity'). To reach a higher band, aim for more precise and academic collocations, such as 'a vast array of commodities' instead of 'lots of products', or 'detrimental effects' instead of 'bad influences'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Most sentences are understandable, but there are several inaccuracies in preposition usage and article use (e.g., 'in a daily basis' should be 'on a daily basis', and 'transported in long distances' should be 'over long distances'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'they are more beneficial for residents' where 'it' (referring to the trend) would be more appropriate. Focus on refining prepositional accuracy and subject-verb agreement.

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