Discussion

Band 4+: As technology advances, there is growing debate about the role of algorithms and artificial intelligence in decision-making processes, such as hiring, loan applications, and criminal justice. Some argue that algorithms are more objective and efficient than humans. Others worry about algorithmic bias and the potential for discrimination. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the light of new technologies, artificial intelligence has also developed. This event made crucial changes in people’s lifestyles. In this essay, we will talk about both this technologies benefits and drawbacks.

Its fast and understandable structure made people easily adapt to this new technology. It gathered all the information humans put on the internet to crate a database to help people answer their questions and find solutions to their problems. This technology surely made vital improvements on our lives but it also has sparked debates recently. It is undeniable that while helping us it also makes us numb to our environment. After constantly asking for help from artificial intelligences, we cant find solutions on our own when face a problem in real life and it significantly decreases our life quality.

Another controversy is that when artificial intelligence creating “art”, it takes real drawings from the internet without the artists consent and it takes away the only source of income off of some artists, In the long term, this act can significantly damage the artists.

In conclusion, artificial intelligence has benefits to some people and drawbacks to other people and sometimes both.

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

artificial: 4

people: 4

intelligence: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of AI. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and depth. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential drawbacks of AI, such as bias and fairness in decision-making processes. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a clearer and more developed personal opinion. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the extent to which AI offers objective solutions and outlines the potential drawbacks. In the body paragraphs, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea, and use transition words to connect these ideas logically. The conclusion is quite brief and could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and reiterating your opinion more emphatically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., "crate" instead of "create"). To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary related to technology, bias, fairness, and decision-making. Consider using synonyms and paraphrasing to demonstrate a wider lexical range. Also, pay attention to collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, "This event made crucial changes in people's lifestyles" is vague and grammatically clumsy. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully for errors in tense, agreement, and word order. Consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

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