Opinion

Band 5+: Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

There is currently an argument over whether caring for kids play a key role in our society , and all parents should take a child care training lectures or courses.I totally agree with this opinion,because parents will understand their children better and will know a lot of about kids behavior.

The main reason why I believe, it is mother’s and father’s should take a courses for more clearly understanding about what their child feeling and thinking, especially when they are in a bad mood. Additionally, parents need to know how to support and help in a friendship or a school situations and should know it is a bullying or just a fight.

Another reason why I support the notion that, nowadays a new generation of kids have another type of emotions and feelings.For example, math test. if for parents it is normal and just easy peasy, for kids it can be really difficult and hard. So kids sometimes can overthinking about their future just because of a school exam or a test. So they are can feel loneliness and tired without parents’s support and needed words.

In conclusion I completely agree that families should to go on a child care training courses just because of bad situations that can be sometimes in kids’s lives. Given this situation, it seems that parents will fully understand and support their kids after training courses.

Word Count: 231

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

parents: 5

should: 4

their: 4

support: 4

child: 3

training: 3

about: 3

courses: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but the support lacks some focus and precision. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential benefits of childcare training courses for parents and children. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, hindering the overall flow. To improve coherence, focus on using clearer topic sentences and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice ('lectures or courses,' 'a lot of about kids behavior'). There is some attempt to use more sophisticated language, but this is not always successful. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise and appropriate words. Pay attention to collocations and the correct usage of words in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures ('it is mother's and father's should take a courses,' 'another type of emotions and feelings,' 'they are can feel loneliness'). These errors frequently impede understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review your work carefully for errors, and consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools.

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