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Band 5+: Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common for people to use computers as an important part of school lessons. Although there are some disadvantages of using computers, I believe that the advantages are more significant the the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are several arguments in favor of using computers. First of all, it gives us better information. For instance, learning through computer and having an internet connection gives us plenty of resources. Moreover, it is also convenient because you can gain a better information while you stayed in your house, so you are not get stuck on the traffic. A further advantage is that, using computers as part of school lesson can lead to interactive learning. This means that you can learn using many applications by youtube or website as long as you have an internet connection. It is also cheaper compared with hiring a private tutor.

On the other hand, using computers in school learning also has some disadvantages. The first drawback is computers are expensive. This is mainly because, the moves of technology not as fast as people paycheck. According to that, some parents may buy a mediocre computer for their child. Furthermore, it is also because of imbalance of infrastructure. In other words, the imbalance of infrastructure can lead a huge difference price of computer from one region to another region in the same country. Another potential issue is it could lead to bad influence for some child. This means that they can have porn addiction. This is mainly because of their parents can not control and monitoring their child while using computer or gadget. Moreover, without proper screen time limitation it can make their eyes turning to bad condition, and it could force them to wear eyeglasses at the young age.

In conclusions, despite some problems such as expensive and lead to bad influnce or condition, I believe that the advantages of using computers as part of the school lessons outweigh the drawbacks. Those advantages including better information and have an interactive learning.

Word Count: 340

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

computers: 7

using: 7

school: 4

learning: 4

computer: 4

because: 4

their: 4

advantages: 3

better: 3

information: 3

child: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages and presenting a clear opinion. The position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas lacks precision and clarity in places, with some points being underdeveloped or vaguely expressed. For example, the advantage of 'better information' could be more specific, and the disadvantage about 'bad influence' is not fully elaborated. There are also some grammatical and lexical errors that affect clarity, such as 'the the drawbacks' and 'bad influnce'. To improve, focus on developing each point with clear explanations and examples, and ensure grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall clarity of the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for advantages, one for disadvantages), and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented in a logical order, and cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used appropriately. However, there are some lapses in coherence, such as the abrupt shift from discussing cost to infrastructure, and the conclusion could be more concise. The paragraphing is generally managed well, but the flow within paragraphs could be improved by ensuring each point is fully developed before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some good phrases like 'interactive learning' and 'imbalance of infrastructure'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, but there are also some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'the moves of technology not as fast as people paycheck' and 'porn addiction'. The word 'child' is used instead of 'children' in one instance. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural collocations, and ensure that word choices are appropriate for the context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include 'the advantages are more significant the the drawbacks' (missing 'than'), 'you can gain a better information' (incorrect article and noun form), 'you are not get stuck' (incorrect verb form), and 'it can make their eyes turning to bad condition' (incorrect verb form and phrasing). Punctuation is generally correct, but there are some run-on sentences and missing commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and verb tense consistency.

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