Opinion

Band 5+: Essay : Is earning money the only good reason for working? 1. training and studies 2. colleagues

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

We live in an age in which most people work only to have a better living and they ignore the advantages that come with having a job.

As far as I am concerned, a good financial status is not the only good reason for working, as from having a job you could gain knowledge about that specific field and you could also built genuine friendships with your colleagues.

To begin with, having a job you are interested in can have a big variety of benefits such as training to develop your professional skills in order to prepare for a better job in the same field. In addition, getting better at what you are working on would also allow you to earn more money.

Additionally, having a job that is interests you would lead you to meet a lot of people that are intrigued in the same work as you do. However, this is a great benefit because you would be still earning money, while having a good work environment surrounded by lots of colleagues with the same passion.

To put it in a nutshell, working should not be all about having a good financial status, but should be a place where you are excited to go because of all the advantages.

Word Count: 211

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

having: 6

better: 3

working: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that money is not the sole motivation for working. You successfully integrated the two specific points provided (training and colleagues) into your argument. The ideas are relevant and logically organized. To improve and reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your supporting points with more depth. For example, instead of just stating that training leads to more money, you could explain how the acquisition of specialized skills increases an individual's value in the labor market. Additionally, ensure that your grammatical precision is higher; there are minor errors such as 'you could also built' (should be 'build') and 'a job that is interests you' (should be 'interests you' or 'is interesting to you'). Strengthening the complexity of your sentence structures and providing more detailed examples would enhance the overall development of your ideas. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing the prompts, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Additionally' is appropriate, but the transition between the idea of skill development and earning more money in the third paragraph feels a bit abrupt. To improve, try to use more sophisticated linking phrases and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next to create a more seamless argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the message, but it lacks the sophistication and variety required for higher bands. There is some repetition of words like 'job', 'money', and 'good'. To improve, aim to use a wider range of synonyms (e.g., instead of 'good financial status', use 'economic stability' or 'financial prosperity'; instead of 'job', use 'profession', 'occupation', or 'career'). Additionally, ensure that word choices are precise; for example, 'intrigued in the same work' is slightly unnatural and could be replaced with 'share similar professional interests'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the overall quality of the writing. Specifically, there are issues with verb tense and form (e.g., 'you could also built' should be 'you could also build', and 'a job that is interests you' should be 'a job that interests you'). There are also issues with preposition usage and sentence structure. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of modal verbs, and practicing complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of control over the language.

The shopping habits of people depend more on their age group than on any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely acknowledged that shopping habits are affected by several factors. Some people argue the main factor is which age group they belong to. I am convinced with this view and will present the reasons why certain age groups have different tendencies for buying things compared to others. One major reason is people at […]

Band 5+

Historical objects should be returned around the world to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The repatriation of historical artefacts is a precarious balancing act, with some claiming that these objects should retain their current positions. While I concede that fragile artefacts can lose value and integrity when transported, I firmly hold the view that traditional relics of the past should be brought back to their original nations. Critics and […]

Band 8+

Some governments are considering implementing a universal basic income, where every citizen receives a set amount of money regularly regardless of their employment status. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

A number of governments are considering applying a wordlwide standard income, where everyone recieves the same value of money not caring about the persons role. While this could make give everyone equal standards of living, it also disregards peoples’ effort doing a harder job. In this essay i will be going through the advantages and […]

Band 6+

See All

Band 5+: Essay : Is earning money the only good reason for working? 1. training and studies 2. colleagues

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

The shopping habits of people depend more on their age group than on any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Historical objects should be returned around the world to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some governments are considering implementing a universal basic income, where every citizen receives a set amount of money regularly regardless of their employment status. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

Plans & Pricing

Free

Premium