Opinion

Band 5+: If people go to live in another country, they should follow the local customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly believed that people who live in another country, they should follow the local rituals and conventions. I totally agree with this statement because they can comunicate better with international individuals and learn many new thing like, their history, local mentality and others.

First of all, is it clear that every country has their own important traditidons which have been celebrated not only by citizens but also by tourists. This kind of celebrations can be more usefull for everyone who visites to this region because they can find more information about its culture. For example, in Uzbekistan there is wedding plov, in Brazil there is carnival. As a result, individuals should follow the local traditions for their benefit.

In addition, everyone should learn about culture of nation which they live or move. This can broaden their horizons and develop their own opinions because they can learn more about the history of country. Moreover, its very effective for international relations and helps to strengthen their bonds. For example, individuals or travellers can share about traditions. This doesn’t mean that no one should learn about it.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that in the future more and more people will learn about the rituals and develop their own idea.

Word Count: 209

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 7

about: 6

learn: 5

should: 4

country: 3

local: 3

because: 3

individuals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. However, the ideas, while relevant, lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be more effectively linked to the argument. To improve, focus on providing more specific and detailed explanations to support your points. Also, ensure that your examples are clearly connected to the main idea of each paragraph. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions are sometimes abrupt, and the relationship between examples and main points isn't always explicitly stated. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow and clarity of your writing. For instance, in the second paragraph, elaborating on how wedding plov in Uzbekistan or carnival in Brazil provide useful cultural information would enhance the paragraph's coherence. In the third paragraph, clarify the link between learning about a nation's culture and broadening one's horizons.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('comunicate,' 'visites,' 'usefull'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using words accurately and appropriately will enhance the sophistication of your writing. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your language sound more natural. For example, instead of 'learn many new thing,' consider 'acquire a wealth of knowledge.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains grammatical errors that sometimes impede understanding. Common errors include subject-verb agreement ('every country has their own'), incorrect verb forms ('visites'), and awkward phrasing ('culture of nation which they live or move'). Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control. For example, combine simple sentences to create more complex and nuanced expressions.

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