Opinion

Band 4+: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

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The importance of rural people are moving to cities, which has been always debatable, has now become more controversial, with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. In my point of view humans are moving to cities, is negative development. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate on my views favoring the impact and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

To begin with the rural individuals are traveling to urban centres, is bad impact on the environmental challenges, and economic. One significant drawback is the decline in agricultural productivity. As know the younger are mostly move in cities and forget the agricultural productivity and old cultural, involved in new cultural. So these are reason people do not agricultural and impact on economic of country last year in India decrease economic and reached 3.5% . The child forget the Previously it has various disadvantages as well, the younger do not respect the parents and big and small family members and involved in bed habits like smoking, thief and killing.

On the other hand the rural people are shifting in urban centres their are many reason individual movie to cities, in village not available facility for example, school, hospital, transport and university. The people want give the children good education and health so, these are reason people movie to cities.

In conclusion, the people movie in urban centres is bad impact on our cultural and social economic.

Word Count: 265

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

impact: 5

cities: 4

economic: 4

rural: 3

urban: 3

centres: 3

agricultural: 3

cultural: 3

reason: 3

movie: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic, but the development of ideas is limited and often lacks clarity. While a position is stated (that the trend is negative), the arguments provided are sometimes disconnected or lack logical depth. For example, the connection between rural-to-urban migration and specific social issues like 'killing' or 'thief' is presented without sufficient explanation or evidence, making the argument feel tangential to the core issue of population decline in the countryside. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Task Response**: Ensure every point you make directly supports your central argument. Instead of listing various social problems, focus on how the decrease in rural population specifically affects the countryside (e.g., labor shortages, aging populations, or the decay of rural infrastructure). 2. **Development of Ideas**: Use the 'PEEL' method (Point, Explanation, Example, Link) to expand your paragraphs. For every claim you make, explain *why* and *how* it happens. 3. **Coherence and Cohesion**: Use clearer transition signals. Some sentences are difficult to follow because the relationship between the ideas is not clearly established. 4. **Clarity of Expression**: Work on sentence structure to ensure that your ideas are communicated precisely. Avoid making broad, unsupported generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat clear through the use of transition signals like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand'; however, the internal cohesion is weak. Many sentences are fragmented or contain run-on structures that make it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of arguments. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'as a result') to link ideas within paragraphs, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is fully developed.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive (e.g., repeating 'moving to cities' or 'rural people'). There are several instances of incorrect word choices and word forms, such as 'movie' instead of 'move', 'thief' instead of 'theft', and 'bed habits' instead of 'bad habits'. To improve, work on building a wider range of synonyms for common topics (e.g., 'urbanization', 'migration', 'rural-to-urban shift') and ensure that you are using the correct parts of speech (nouns vs. verbs). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure (many sentences lack a clear subject or predicate), and tense consistency. For example, 'the younger are mostly move in cities' is grammatically incorrect. I recommend studying basic sentence structures (Subject + Verb + Object) and practicing the use of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'because', 'although', and 'which' to express more sophisticated ideas accurately.

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Band 4+: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

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Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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