Cause And Solution

Band 6+: In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. What are the causes of truancy? What solutions can schools and parents do to reduce this behaviour?

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The number of students skipping classes is an issue in many educational institutions worldwide. Parents and teachers have the challenge to change this behavior to improve students’ education. The causes of this phenomenon rely on the students’ willingness to avoid following rules and school responsibilities and look for fun at the time of class. To tackle these problems, teachers should lead courses in which students can have moments of fun and do not feel undue pressure to succeed; parents should support this measure by not being too demanding with their children.

Teachers should create a classroom environment that includes the course demands and also dedicate time for fun. Consequently, students do feel that being at school is an obligation that only comprises following rules and passing tests. Educators should include a sense of relaxation and flexibility with the course requirements, fostering a enjoyable class environment. For instance, the English subject in many countries includes games as part of their weekly assignments, such as Bingo and Jeopardy. Indeed, students usually enjoy this type of class and ask educators to repeat them.

Furthermore, parents should not put undue pressure in their children to succeed at school. As a result, students feel a certain level of freedom to comply with school requirements. Parents who are highly controlling risk promoting truancy in their children because of the soffocating reality created around school life. Psychological studies show that to promote responsible students, parents need to give a certain amount of freedom to their children, supervising and supporting them with everything they need.

In conclusion, students truancy stem from their desire to avoid responsibilities and school rules and have fun outside the school. To counteract these causes, educators should teach courses that foster a fun class environment; similarly, parents should not place undue pressure in their children, motivating them to comply with school requirements. Educational institutions should finance specific teacher training courses to help teachers create classes more engaging for the students, reducing truancy as a result.

Word Count: 331

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 8

school: 8

should: 8

their: 7

parents: 6

class: 4

children: 4

teachers: 3

rules: 3

courses: 3

undue: 3

pressure: 3

educators: 3

requirements: 3

truancy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying causes (desire for fun/avoidance of rules) and proposing solutions for both schools and parents. A clear position is maintained throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The 'causes' section is quite brief and focuses almost exclusively on the student's mindset, missing other common systemic causes such as bullying, socioeconomic issues, or lack of engagement with the curriculum. To improve, try to expand on the complexity of the causes to provide a more well-rounded argument. Additionally, ensure that the connection between the cause and the solution is more explicitly developed; for example, if the cause is a lack of interest, the solution should more clearly explain how 'fun' activities directly mitigate that specific lack of interest rather than just being a general suggestion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific solutions, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, some cohesive devices and transitions could be more sophisticated. For example, the use of 'Consequently' in the second paragraph is slightly misused, as the sentence following it actually describes what students *do* feel (an obligation), which contradicts the intended logic of the paragraph. Ensure that transition words accurately reflect the logical relationship between sentences.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'undue pressure,' 'fostering,' 'suffocating reality,' and 'counteract.' There are a few minor spelling and word choice errors (e.g., 'soffocating' instead of 'suffocating' and 'repeat them' instead of 'repeat these activities'). To reach a higher band, aim for more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing, such as the frequent use of 'fun' and 'undue pressure'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. Most sentences are clear, but there are some grammatical inaccuracies regarding prepositions and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'pressure in their children' should be 'pressure on their children,' and 'students truancy stem' should be 'student truancy stems'). Paying closer attention to prepositional usage and singular/plural agreement will help improve the overall accuracy.

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