Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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There has been an increasing number of adults who staying with families despite university graduation or having an occupation in various nations. As a coin has two sides, this trend has brought to individuals and whole society both benefits and drawbacks which should be taken into account before a final decision is come to.

On the one hand, the merits of staying with parents should not be overlooked. To begin with, a significant amount of daily expenses could be saved thanks to living with families, especially in some metropolitan areas where houses funds always make up a half of fresher’s salaries. Moreover, back to 2-3 decades before when people frequently confront with a lack of jobs, as a result they had a tendency to migrant into supercity to seek job opportunities. However, with the accelerating development in technologies and social media these days, the appearances of different working form including remoting jobs which offer people for working from home, which could solve in several social issues such as traffic jams during peaked hours, or descending the rate of accidents. Besides, it is beneficial for individuals to live with parents after graduation or working with the aim of enhancing the family’s bond.

On the other hand, it is an infeasible idea which should be discouraged. First, staying with families in spite of university graduation or working could provoke negative impact among the young generations, which is related to social isolation, dependence deterioration. Second, it would be a financial burden for parents due to take responsibilities for children with a tide-budget.

In conclusion, despite the downsides, living together with family after graduation, or getting a job should be appreciated on account of numerous upsides the bring to individuals and whole the society.

Word Count: 290

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 5

graduation: 4

should: 4

working: 4

staying: 3

families: 3

individuals: 3

parents: 3

could: 3

social: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there is some lack of focus and precision in supporting ideas. To improve, ensure that each point is clearly and fully explained with specific examples. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. Transitions are sometimes abrupt, and the connection between ideas isn't always clear. For example, in the second paragraph, the discussion shifts from saving expenses to job opportunities and technology without a clear link. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader. The introduction and conclusion could be more focused and directly address the essay question.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a mix of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('houses funds,' 'tide-budget'). Some phrases are not entirely natural ('as a coin has two sides,' 'descending the rate of accidents'). Expanding your range of vocabulary and focusing on using words and phrases accurately and naturally would enhance this aspect of your writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains grammatical errors that occasionally impede understanding. There are issues with verb tense ('adults who staying'), article usage, and sentence structure. For example, the sentence 'As a coin has two sides, this trend has brought to individuals and whole society both benefits and drawbacks which should be taken into account before a final decision is come to' is awkward and contains errors. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction would be beneficial.

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Band 6+: In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university, or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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