Opinion

Band 4+: It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

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Some people considered that young people have a higher interest to technological disceplines such as science, technology, engineering, mathematics. This essay explores the idea of influence of developing technology on schoolers and students.

To commence with, it is certain that technologies such as AI, computer vision and others become widely known terms nowadays and it is needed to have advanced knowledge for creating them. For example, knowledge in the mathematics, machine learning, deep learning are must-have for generating the large language models. Additionally, there are well-paid jobs in the IT that required a high degree. Some of the position, such as senior developer or data scientists, may have yearly income more than 100000 United States Dollars. So salary may insipre young people for education in the university too.

Moreover, a lot of children playing in the games on the personal computers nowadays. They got used to it and technological devices is all for them so they started to learn it. As a result, they self-educated a maths, logic and critical thinking that are necessary in STEM disciplines.

To sum up, the technology development has a significant impact on young generation and it is require the trained specialists.

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

young: 3

technology: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the connections between technology, games, and the development of skills relevant to STEM disciplines. Also, ensure that your arguments are clearly linked to the increasing popularity of STEM fields. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some coherence, but the ideas are not always clearly linked, and the progression of thought can be difficult to follow. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better organize the arguments. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need strengthening to enhance the flow of the essay. For example, the connection between playing computer games and self-education in maths, logic, and critical thinking could be made more explicit.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'technological disceplines' could be improved to 'STEM fields' or 'technical disciplines'. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to technology and education and practice using more precise and varied language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structures are relatively simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence constructions. For example, 'Some people considered that young people have a higher interest' should be revised to 'Some people believe that young people have a greater interest'. To improve, focus on practicing grammar rules and sentence construction, and seek feedback on your writing to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

It is believed that the STEM disciplines (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are becoming more and more popular among high school and university students. What might be the reasons for this?

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The media should be free to publish whatever they want. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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