Opinion

Band 4+: Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

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Nowadays there are lot of extreme activities individuals can do for example jumping, para gliding mountain climbing and many other. Nowadays a lot of individuals perform dangerous activities and this way they risk their life. This essay will discuss why i assume this statement as a good trend

The first supporting factor contributing to the agreement is to be more healthy in physical and mental aspect too extract it mare, doing extreme activities like sky diving, mountain climbing, para gliding put individual in a hard decision, improve their decisions making skill and it is the way to relax their mind by doing these activities

second factor contributing to it is, it helps to connect person with environment and nature, individuals usely perform extreme activities in nature like mountain climbing, sky diving, hand gliding and many other, which helps to understand the importance of nature and our environment. People who perform extreme activity in nature will encourage other teenager to protect and spend time in nature.

In the nutshell, from my point of view individuals can perform activities beyond their limit only when they have proper equipment and safe with supervision of an expert. Doing extreme activities can also increase mental health and make them physicaly fit

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

activities: 6

extreme: 5

individuals: 4

perform: 4

their: 4

nature: 4

gliding: 3

mountain: 3

climbing: 3

other: 3

doing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why engaging in extreme activities can be considered a good trend. However, the ideas presented are not fully developed and lack depth. The essay could benefit from providing more specific examples and elaborating on each point further. Additionally, there are some lapses in content and support, such as the lack of counterarguments or a balanced discussion. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. There is a need for better organization and smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effectively linked back to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

While there is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately. The essay would benefit from more precise and accurate word choices to enhance clarity and sophistication. Additionally, expanding the vocabulary used to discuss the topic of extreme activities would improve the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures used in the essay. However, there are several grammatical errors present, such as subject-verb agreement issues, missing articles, and awkward phrasing. Proofreading for grammar and sentence structure would help improve the overall accuracy of the essay.

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Band 4+: Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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