Opinion

Band 6+: Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expensive to discourage people from having it

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Some people think that traveling by plane should be cheaper in order to give ordinary people the opportunity to see the world. However, others believe that this leads to environmental problems, so to discourage them from it, air travel should be more expensive. I think that it is important for everyone to be able to travel across the world.

On the one hand, journeys by plane should be cheaper so that low-income families would be able to fly to other places. It helps them not only to relax and enjoy a trip but also to explore other cultures and nations. As a result, people would not think that you need to be rich if you want to travel. Also, it creates unforgettable memories due to the cheap air journey allows people to travel with their family or friends.

On the other hand, sometimes airplanes can cause environmental damage because they produce harmful gases such as carbon dioxide and create some noise. And also more and more people would travel, which means more planes would be on air. As a result, there would be more air pollution, which is harmful to some people with health issues.

In conclusion, I think air travel should be cheaper, which would allow ordinary people to travel further and see new places. Moreover, we have some developing electric airplanes, which means it is possible to reduce air pollution.

Word Count: 232

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

travel: 7

would: 6

think: 4

should: 4

which: 4

cheaper: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the response. You have successfully discussed both the benefits of affordable travel and the environmental concerns. To improve your score, aim to extend and deepen your arguments. For instance, in the paragraph regarding environmental issues, you could further develop the connection between increased flight frequency and global climate change. Additionally, while your conclusion introduces a new idea (electric airplanes), it is generally better to use the conclusion to summarize your existing points rather than introducing new concepts. Strengthening the logical links between your ideas will help move the essay toward a higher band. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing both sides, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the environmental impact and the health issues could be more logically linked. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next to avoid a slightly 'choppy' feel.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic and is generally accurate, but it remains somewhat basic. Words like 'cheap', 'places', and 'good' are used frequently. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, such as 'affordable airfare' instead of 'cheap air travel', or 'mitigate environmental impact' instead of 'reduce air pollution'. Using more precise academic vocabulary will demonstrate greater lexical flexibility. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the flow. For example, the phrase 'due to the cheap air journey allows' is grammatically incorrect (it should be 'due to the fact that...' or 'because cheap air travel allows...'). There are also minor issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. Focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that subordinate clauses are correctly connected to main clauses.

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