Discussion

Band 7+: Money used for space exploration should be spent on problems on Earth. Discuss both views.

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Space exploration has been going on for over a century and has led to interesting discoveries related to the solar system and its planets. However, people argue that the hefty amount spent on such extravagant ventures should be utilized for public welfare. This argument is solid because with increasing earth’s population, it’s problems, such as food security and poor medical, are also increasing. However, it would be too narrow to deprioritize space missions, which have their own potential impacts on human life.

Considering recent challenges facing the earth, including hunger, poverty, and diseases, it seems prudent to spend money on human welfare. For example, funding the firms working on precision agriculture would lead to sustainable farming practices and increased food production, reducing risks related to food security. Moreover, spending on modern medical facilities and research centers would help develop innovative solutions for different diseases, eventually reducing human suffering.

However, space exploration has its own benefits which can not be neglected. For instance, the study on galaxy and its environmental properties seemed to be less useful in the early 1970s; however, it led to the innovation of satellite communications, which is a backbone of several useful applications including the Internet. Although these scientific ventures seem to have very less impact on day-to-day life, their long-term impacts are substantial.

In my opinion, there should be an efficient trade-off between the two. Funding bodies providing solutions to immediate problems is important. For instance, governments should keep on investing in artificial intelligence, as it has the potential to revolutionize our healthcare and other important sectors. However, space exploration should still be given importance as it can help provide solutions which could have long-term impact on human life. For example, recent attempts to explore the scientific properties of different elements found on mars might help humans in solving problems requiring specialized elements.

Word Count: 307

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

space: 4

however: 4

should: 4

which: 4

human: 4

exploration: 3

problems: 3

would: 3

solutions: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly discussed both perspectives - the necessity of addressing terrestrial issues and the long-term benefits of space exploration - and provided a clear personal opinion advocating for a balanced approach. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as precision agriculture and satellite communications. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are even more tightly linked to the core argument. For instance, in the conclusion, the mention of artificial intelligence feels slightly tangential to the specific debate of 'Earthly problems vs. Space exploration,' as AI is a technological field rather than a direct solution to a social problem like poverty or hunger. Aim to keep all examples strictly within the context of the two opposing sides of the debate to maintain maximum focus.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, and the transition between the discussion of Earth-based problems and space exploration is smooth. To reach a higher band, ensure that the connection between the 'trade-off' mentioned in the conclusion and the specific examples provided is even more seamless. The use of cohesive devices is effective and does not feel forced.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'extravagant ventures,' 'precision agriculture,' and 'substantial.' However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing. For example, 'poor medical' is incomplete (it should be 'medical issues' or 'healthcare') and 'very less impact' is unidiomatic (it should be 'minimal impact' or 'very little impact'). Aim for more precise collocations to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses. However, there are several grammatical slips that prevent a higher score. Specifically, pay attention to possessive forms (e.g., 'earth's population' should be 'Earth's population') and noun-adjective agreement. There are also minor errors in article usage and singular/plural consistency (e.g., 'study on galaxy' should be 'study of galaxies' or 'the study of the galaxy'). Refining these small details will significantly improve your accuracy.

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