Opinion

Band 6+: Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many people believe that international tourism brings many benefits for a country. From my personal perspective, I completely agree with this opinion for several significant reasons.

On the one hand, the primary reason why I support this view is that it helps the country make a lot of money. To be more specific, this situation can bring many advantages to people in their daily lives. This means that individuals are able to improve their lives in different ways. Foreign tourists often spend money on hotels, local food, transport, and entertainment activities when they visit another country. For example, many local restaurants and hotels can earn more money from international visitors during holiday seasons. As a direct result, this trend has a favorable effect on society.

On the other hand, another essential point supporting my opinion is that it creates many new jobs for local people. In other words, this trend creates many valuable opportunities for individuals. Because of this, people can achieve better results in their work and personal lives. Many young adults are able to find stable employment in hotels, airports, restaurants, and travel companies. For instance, young people can work as tour guides or hotel staff to earn money and support their families. Therefore, I believe that this is a beneficial change for everyone.

In conclusion, based on the arguments mentioned above, I still think that international tourism is a good development for a country. In the future, citizens should continue to take advantage of this positive change because it can lead to a better quality of life.

Word Count: 261

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

country: 4

money: 4

their: 4

international: 3

lives: 3

hotels: 3

local: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the writer agrees with the benefits of international tourism. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. Many sentences serve as 'filler' rather than providing substantive support; for example, phrases like 'this situation can bring many advantages to people in their daily lives' or 'this trend creates many valuable opportunities for individuals' do not add new information but merely restate the previous point in a vague manner. To improve, avoid using generic, circular sentences. Instead, focus on extending your arguments by explaining the 'how' and 'why' in more detail. For instance, when discussing economic benefits, you could mention how increased tax revenue from tourism can be reinvested into public infrastructure like roads or hospitals, which would provide a more sophisticated and well-developed response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' effectively to guide the reader. However, the progression within paragraphs feels somewhat repetitive. Many sentences serve to restate the same idea (e.g., 'this situation can bring many advantages... individuals are able to improve their lives') without adding new depth. To improve, try to link ideas more naturally through logical progression rather than relying on a repetitive 'Statement -> Explanation -> Result' formula.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is accurate and appropriate for the topic, but it is quite basic and repetitive. Words and phrases like 'make a lot of money', 'many benefits', 'good development', and 'earn money' are used frequently. To reach a higher band, aim to use more sophisticated synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'make a lot of money', you could use 'generate significant revenue' or 'boost the national economy'. Instead of 'good development', consider 'positive phenomenon' or 'advantageous trend'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammar is highly accurate with virtually no errors, which is a strong point. However, the sentence structures are somewhat simple and follow a very similar pattern throughout the essay. To improve your score, incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences (e.g., 'If a country invests in tourism infrastructure, it will likely see...'), relative clauses, and passive voice to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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Band 6+: Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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