Discussion

Band 6+: "Some believe that all students should learn about climate change and sustainability, while others argue this is not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

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Climate change is a problem for our world today. This is why people are talking about whether schools should teach climate change and sustainability. Some people think it is very important for the future while others think students should only focus on things like math and science.

The people who think climate change should be taught in schools believe that knowing about it is very powerful. Our planet is facing problems like really hot temperatures melting ice and weird weather. If students learn about these things when they are young they will grow up to be more responsible. When kids understand how what they do affects the Earth they are more likely to do things that help the environment like saving electricity using plastic and planting trees. Also there are new jobs coming up in things like solar power, recycling and green technology. Learning about sustainability helps students get ready for these jobs and teaches them how to think about problems and come up with new solutions.

On the hand some people think we should not add more things to the school curriculum. They think schools are already busy teaching the subjects. Some people think students should focus on things like math, science and languages to do well on tests. They think climate change is more of a thing that might distract from schoolwork. Some people are worried that talking about things like global warming might scare little kids and some think parents can teach these things at home instead of making it a school subject.

In my opinion students should definitely learn about climate change.. It does not have to be boring. Climate change is not just something scientists talk about it is something that is happening in our lives. If we do not teach kids how to take care of the Earth they will not be able to do it when they grow up. Of making school more stressful schools can teach these things in other classes. For example a math teacher can use numbers about waste to teach about statistics and a science teacher can talk about how plants help keep the air clean. By teaching sustainability in a fun and positive way we can help students become people who take care of the Earth not just people who watch it get hurt. School is supposed to get us ready for the world and there is nothing more important, than taking care of our planet climate change and sustainability.

Word Count: 412

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 11

think: 9

things: 9

people: 8

climate: 7

change: 7

should: 6

students: 6

teach: 5

schools: 4

sustainability: 4

these: 4

school: 4

earth: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly discussed both viewpoints - the benefits of environmental education and the concerns regarding curriculum overload - and provided a clear personal opinion. Your position is well-integrated and supported by logical reasoning, particularly your suggestion on how to integrate these topics into existing subjects like math and science. To improve further, focus on enhancing your grammatical precision and sentence structure. There are several instances of run-on sentences and missing punctuation (e.g., 'On the hand some people think...', '...our planet climate change and sustainability'). Additionally, while your ideas are relevant, using more sophisticated cohesive devices and academic vocabulary would help elevate the formal tone of the essay. For example, instead of saying 'weird weather,' you could use 'extreme weather patterns' to sound more professional.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for both views, and a personal opinion. However, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. There are several instances where sentences feel disconnected or 'choppy.' To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'Consequently') to link ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and clear, allowing the reader to understand the arguments easily. However, the word choice is somewhat repetitive and basic (e.g., using 'things,' 'people,' and 'important' frequently). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise and sophisticated academic vocabulary. Instead of 'weird weather,' you could use 'extreme weather patterns'; instead of 'really hot temperatures,' use 'rising global temperatures'; and instead of 'things,' use 'concepts,' 'issues,' or 'subjects.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in punctuation and sentence construction. There are several run-on sentences (e.g., 'Climate change is not just something scientists talk about it is something that is happening in our lives') and missing commas in lists and after introductory phrases. There are also some awkward phrasings (e.g., 'Of making school more stressful'). Focus on mastering punctuation - specifically the use of commas and periods to separate independent clauses - and practice using subordinating conjunctions to create more fluid, complex sentences.

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Band 6+: "Some believe that all students should learn about climate change and sustainability, while others argue this is not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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“Some believe that all students should learn about climate change and sustainability, while others argue this is not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

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Education is a long life task. Do you agree or disagree

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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