Discussion

Band 6+: Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, some people argue that companies and supermarkets should reduce the number of packaging of goods, while others say that customers should stop buying products with packaging. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former or the latter.

On the one hand, with rapidly increasing ecological control the role of packaging is a topic of significant debate. However, big companies will never reduce the number of packaging, because it is not economically beneficial for them. The main role of it is to save the product while transportation from point A to B. If manufacturers changed this system, they would lose a lot of money. Not only can these changes damage the wallets of customers , but it may also lead to bigger ecological problems . For instance, when APPLE stopped packing their products to plastic, they did not stop using plastic at all, moreover, raised the total cost of it.

On the other hand, customers’ actions are nothing in comparison with the biggest manufacturers and supermarkets but if all people do something together, everyone will do it. Everything starts from little steps individuals can save the environment by stopping buying a one-time package, after that including fines to extra use of plastic in packaging. To exemplify, in modern societies people do everything without the help of companies, because of companies which put money higher than environmental protection. Under no circumstances should people save earth’s nature.

In conclusion, the perspectives of customers will be more successful than companies’. However, I believe that together individuals may protect our planet from pollution.

Word Count: 267

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

packaging: 5

people: 4

companies: 4

should: 3

customers: 3

plastic: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views on the responsibility for reducing packaging. A position is presented, favoring the role of customers while acknowledging the potential for collaboration. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The arguments are somewhat simplistic and could benefit from more specific examples and deeper analysis. To improve, focus on providing more concrete evidence and elaborating on the potential impact of both manufacturers' actions and consumer choices. Also, ensure a clearer and more logical flow of ideas within each paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a somewhat clear stance, but the argumentation could be more logically structured. The transitions between ideas within paragraphs are not always smooth, and the connection between the two viewpoints discussed could be strengthened. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be improved to better reflect the development of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and natural. Some phrases are slightly awkward or unclear. To improve, focus on using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to environmental issues and consumer behavior. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the fluency of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. There are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and focus on mastering fundamental grammar rules. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures with greater control.

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