Opinion

Band 7+: The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The given graph illustrates the proportion of Asian citizens settling in the urban areas of different countries between 1970 and 2020, with anticipations for 2030 and 2040. Overall, the graph depicts an upward trend in the inhabitants of the countries selected. Also, the predictions imply the consistency of this trend, albeit at varying rates in the upcoming years.

Starting at approximately 30%, which was the highest figure in January, the urban populations of the Philippines and Malaysia converged to 50% in 1990. However, for the next 20 years, while the figure for Malaysia proceeded to increase gradually by 10%, that of Philippines experienced a sudden fall to 45%. A close convergence occurred in Thailand and Indonesia at 30% in 2000; thereafter, Indonesia and Thailand continued to experience a similar pattern compared to two other countries, with the former growing by a consistent rate of 10%, overtaking Indonesia to become the third most populated country whilst the latter staying the same until 2020.

Regarding the future projections, both figures for Philippines and Indonesia are expected to continuously undergo a slow increase to 80% and 60%, respectively. There is also a projected steady rise in Thailand and Indonesia, with each peaking at 50% and 45% by 2040 respectively.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

indonesia: 5

countries: 3

philippines: 3

thailand: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay provides a clear and detailed overview of the information presented in the graph. The main features are accurately summarized, and relevant comparisons are made. The trends over time and future projections are well described. However, there are a few minor lapses in content, such as the mention of 'January' instead of '1970', and the confusion between the countries in some parts of the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized and easy to follow. The information is presented in a logical sequence, and there is effective use of cohesive devices to connect ideas. Paragraphing is generally well managed, but there are a few instances where the flow could be improved by using more varied transition words and phrases.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, used accurately and appropriately. There is a good level of precision and control in the choice of words. However, there is room for even more sophisticated and natural vocabulary to be used in some places to enhance the overall lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

A wide range of grammatical structures is used with flexibility and control. The essay shows a good command of punctuation and grammar, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. To improve further, more complex sentence structures and grammatical variety could be incorporated.

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