Opinion

Band 6+: the graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious metals from 2013 to 2021

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The line graph displays the average closing rates of three valuable metals between 2013 and 2021.

Overall, the closing price of Gold remained relatively stable with only a slight increase towards the end of the named period. Conversely, Platinum saw a steady decline throughout the years. Palladium, on the other hand, witnessed a sharp rise in its closing rates, making it the most valuable of the three metals.

In 2013 Gold’s closing price was at almost $1500 per ounce. It stayed at the same level, with only minor fluctuations until 2019. In the following year Gold increased to approximately $1800 per ounce and plateaued in 2021. Platinum saw a gradual decrease in its rate, starting out at $1500 per ounce in 2013, then falling down to just under $1000 per ounce. In 2021 the rate only slightly increased to approximately $1200 per ounce.

Palladium had the lowest rate of the three metals in 2013, at about $800 per ounce. It showed some fluctuation between 2014 and 2016, before a dramatic surge, going up from around $600 per ounce in 2016 to almost $2200 per ounce in 2020. The price increased to approximately $2400 per ounce in 2021.

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

ounce: 8

closing: 4

three: 3

price: 3

increased: 3

approximately: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6.5

The essay effectively addresses the task by describing the trends in the average closing prices of Gold, Platinum, and Palladium from 2013 to 2021. The position is clear and well-developed, providing a comparison of the three metals. To enhance the task response further, consider including a concluding statement summarizing the overall trend observed in the graph. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

5.5

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each metal, and a logical progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is effective in guiding the reader through the comparison of the metals. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas for a more seamless flow.

Lexical Resource

5.5

There is a good range of vocabulary used to describe the trends in the closing prices of the precious metals. However, to enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to financial terms and trends. Additionally, aim for more precise and nuanced language to convey the changes in prices accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and accurate use of punctuation. To further improve grammatical range and accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structures for more complexity. Additionally, ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay.

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