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Opinion

Band 4+: The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The illustrated graph gives data on the number of adult people attending in various sport fields in a certain place in the years 1997 and 2017.

Overall, number of adults participated in basketball, cricket, jogging, gym (aerobic), football, and hiking observed an upward trend, while people going to gentle walking maintained its dominance over the period given.

To begin, the rate of people attending in gentle walking accounted for 50 in 1997 and reached its peak by climbing to approximately 55 during the year 2017. Football and hiking experienced the same and gradual rising trend from about 30 to roughly 50. One of the sport fields, basketball, faced a dramatic change in the number of people by rising from 10 to over 20.

Major sports, gym (aerobic) and jogging faced small fluctuations and almost remained stable at 35 in the period from 1997 till 2017. However, the remaining field, cricket saw the opposite and made up about 5 by dropping from almost 25.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
people: 4
number: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5
The essay adequately summarizes the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons between the years 1997 and 2017. The trends in adult participation in different sports are clearly outlined. However, there are some minor lapses in content and support, such as the lack of specific numerical data for some sports and the absence of an overall conclusion summarizing the main trends observed in the chart.
The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5
The essay is generally easy to follow, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. The organization of ideas could be improved for better clarity and flow. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to link ideas and information could be more effective. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Lexical Resource

4.5
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some precise and accurate use of words. However, there is room for improvement in terms of lexical resource. Try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary and use more sophisticated lexical features to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5
The essay exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with generally accurate and appropriate use of punctuation and grammar. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be revised for better clarity and accuracy. Proofreading the essay carefully can help in identifying and correcting these issues.

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