Discussion

Band 4+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

In this time I believe, a lot of people think that job satisfaction is more important than the job security bot some people also think that job satification is not important then the permanent job but in my opinion job satisfaction is more important then the job security.

Firstly, people who think satisfaction in job is imporatant because when we are satify with our environment we can do our office work effeciently but job without satisfaction is wastage of time and it may also cause of depression. People who have ability to work anywhere with thier skills want more job satisfaction. Satifaction with work make people happy in thier personal life they can enjoy moments with thier families without any workload or any other job working stress.

On the other hand, some people think permanent job is more important then the satisfaction because that kinf of individuals want thier future safe but they do not focus on thier personal life because if they work without satisfaction they feel bored and depressed while working after that when they meet with thier families after long and stressfull day because of job. Those kind of individuals do not make happy moments with thier loved ones. It is safe for future but not for health and thier personal life.

I personally think people who are satisfy with thier jobs can live healthy and happy life. people can work effectively if they are satisfy with thier jobs. Skilled people more working in satisfied job because they can work every where with thier skills but satisfaction in job is more important.

In conclusion, people with job satisfaction is more effective and healthy people in thier office and personal life.

Word Count: 283

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thier: 12

people: 11

satisfaction: 9

think: 5

because: 5

important: 4

personal: 4

without: 3

happy: 3

working: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and could be more developed. The arguments for job satisfaction and job security are somewhat simplistic and could benefit from more specific examples or explanations. To improve, focus on providing more detailed support for your claims and ensuring that your ideas are clearly articulated.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases) to link ideas and improve the overall coherence. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and the connections between these ideas should be explicitly stated.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the essay's ability to express complex ideas effectively. There are instances of inaccurate word choice. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Also, try to use synonyms to avoid repetition. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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