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Bar Chart

Band 9: The chart below shows participation in certain sports by Australian children after school hours in 2010

Image for topic: The chart below shows participation in certain sports by Australian children after school hours in 2010
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The image is a bar chart displaying Australian children's participation in after-school sports activities in 2010, with separate bars for boys and girls. In swimming, boys are 20% and girls are 18%; in football, boys are 22% whereas girls show 6%; for netball, boys' participation is at 4% contrasted by girls at 20%; in basketball, boys are 10% and girls are 8%; and in no sports, boys are at 2% with girls slightly higher at 4%.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Here’s an improved version of the essay aimed at achieving a Band 9.0 score:

The bar graph illustrates the percentage of Australian children participating in various sports after school hours in 2010, divided by gender.

Overall, the chart reveals clear differences in sports preferences between boys and girls. Boys predominantly participated in football and swimming, whereas girls were more inclined towards netball, with a significant number also engaging in swimming and basketball.

In detail, football was the most popular sport among boys, with around 20% participation, highlighting its strong appeal to them. In contrast, netball was the preferred sport for girls, with nearly 18% taking part, demonstrating a traditional gender preference in Australia. Swimming was popular among both boys and girls, with participation rates of approximately 13% and 12%, respectively. Basketball attracted moderate interest from both genders, although boys slightly outnumbered girls. Notably, a small percentage of children did not participate in any sports, with non-participation being slightly higher among girls than boys.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

9
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
girls: 6
sports: 3
swimming: 3
among: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

9
The report accurately addresses the task and provides a comprehensive overview of the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

9
The report is well-organized and flows smoothly. The information is presented logically and effectively.

Lexical Resource

9
The report demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, using precise and sophisticated language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

9
The report exhibits excellent grammatical accuracy and a variety of sentence structures.

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows participation in certain sports by Australian children after school hours in 2010

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Band 8+

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Band 7+

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Band 7+

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Band 6+

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