Bar Chart

Band 6+: The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2016.

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Image for topic: The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2016.

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The image presents a bar chart comparing gender distribution across six fields: Arts (Female 58%, Male 42%), Business (Female 35%, Male 65%), Education (Female 72%, Male 25%), Engineering (Female 18%, Male 85%), Law (Female 40%, Male 60%), Medicine (Female 50%, Male 49%), Science (Female 38%, Male 62%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart delineates the propotion of both genders academic staff figures across the faculties of a principal university in 2016.

At a first glance, the engineering faculty had the highest number of male, and the least number of female among all the faculties given.

back to the details, males prefered to attend specific kinds of faculties which are faculty of law with 60%, both faculties of science and buisness showed the same percentage (62%), and engineering had the most percentage of male members which is 85%, refeering that this field was the most interesting among the others.

For females, attending arts faculty reached 58%, while choosing medecine was less than the prevvious one by 8%, and education had the highest percentage of female which is 72%, indicating that preferences in 2016 between the two sexes were different, where males were more interested in buisness and management activities, compared with females who prefered knowledge.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

faculties: 4

faculty: 3

which: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the data but lacks specific comparisons and detailed analysis. The writing is somewhat repetitive and could benefit from more precise language and a clearer structure. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points and comparisons between the faculties and genders. Also, ensure that the language used is accurate and varied.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction is acceptable, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' can help to guide the reader through the comparison of male and female percentages across different faculties. The final sentence attempts to summarize the data but comes across as somewhat speculative and could be more directly tied to the presented figures.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a mix of basic and slightly more advanced vocabulary. There are instances of imprecise word choice ('prefered,' 'refeering,' 'prevvious') that affect clarity. To improve, focus on using more accurate and varied vocabulary related to proportions and comparisons. For example, instead of 'had the most percentage,' consider using 'represented the largest proportion.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the precision and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. These include issues with spelling ('propotion,' 'prefered,' 'buisness,' 'refeering,' 'medecine,' 'prevvious'), verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. For example, 'males prefered to attend specific kinds of faculties which are faculty of law with 60%' is awkward and contains unnecessary words. To improve, carefully proofread your work for errors in grammar and spelling. Focus on constructing clear and concise sentences, and ensure that verb tenses are consistent throughout the report.

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